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Review:Roots in Water says:
Hello there!

Wow- I think that this was a really well-done first chapter. The short sentences really made everything seem to have more of an impact and they did a great job of expressing the bleakness that Rainne is feeling.

I can't imagine how Raine is feeling, or what she is feeling, but you've given us some clues in this chapter as to why she is feeling so depressed. It makes sense that you haven't outright stated anything. After all, Rainne wouldn't have a reason to reveal that just yet. She's closed off, private. But I've got the sense, now, that her parents were recently killed (not too recently, mind you, but within the past year or so) and that she doesn't really have any friends, or anyone she connects with.

I found it odd that Lily doesn't remember a girl she's slept beside for however many years, but I guess it's possible, especially if Rainne is as silent and "wall-flower-ish" as she seems to be. At least Lily is trying to make an effort now - and I really wonder if Rainne will go to the party. I don't think that it'd be in her character at the moment... But maybe she'll go to punish herself, to make herself feel uncomfortable. I don't know. Or maybe her grandfather will push for her to go, so that she can socialize. Hmmm...

The opening scene with the doctor was also interesting because it definitely showed Rainne's state of mind very well. The last few lines were very dramatic - a lashing out of sorts at the doctor.

All in all, I think that you did a very good job with the first chapter in this story. I'm looking forward to reading the second chapter. Great work! :D

Author's Response: wow, thanks so much for this long review! and for all the others you've left in the following chapters!
i'm really glad you like the story :)
i know it's a bit of a stretch that lily wouldn't remember rainne, but she really doesn't talk at all, it's too much for her. that's going to change though :)


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