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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, Lauren!

I swear I think I've read this before. Please forgive me, I obviously neglected to review it! I shall make up for it now.

I love the idea and I love the setting you've created. Sirius dating a muggle has always worked perfectly in my mind. Not that this would be his only reason, but it's the ultimate act of rebellion against his horrible family. Also, his name carries such a stigma in the magical world. He must find himself constantly having to explain that he's not one of those Blacks who see themselves as pureblooded magical royalty walking among the common riffraff. Dating a muggle would seem to be such a relief.

But, there's the small problem of explaining what he does for a living and why he disappears for days or weeks at a time. I liked the fact that you tackled the issue head-on in your introductory chapter. Sirius starts off by lying to her -- it's a harsh-sounding word, but the basic reality is that a witch or wizard really has no choice until they're sure they can trust the person -- and when the time is right, he comes clean. You didn't make Lydia's reaction too extreme, either, which I thought was a good call. It's a lot to try to absorb, and I thought she came across as being appropriately stunned and overwhelmed.

Lydia was a really solid character. She was intelligent, perceptive, mature and well balanced. She reacted more or less exactly the way I'd expect a young muggle woman to react to her strange, new acquaintances. There wasn't anything caricatured or artificial-sounding about her. I'm looking forward to seeing what she makes of the larger magical world.

The only suggestion I can really offer would be to tone down Sirius's enthusiasm a little after he makes the big revelation. Something about the way that he was so exuberant and sort of flaunting his magic for her didn't feel quite right. One minute he's so worried that she wouldn't take his secret well and the next he's grinning ear to ear, casting spells and turning into a dog. It just felt like too much, too fast.

I saw one itty-bitty typo: 'Pads your just impossible sometimes. Youíre worse than a child,' Prongs sighed, -- you're just impossible

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

Oh that's okay - I appreciate you leaving a review now! I am so so sorry for how long it's taken me to respond to all these lovely reviews you've left me. I've tried so many times and just end up turning into a pile of mush and saying thank you over and over again! I'll try and actually articulate something though :)

I completely agree - even though it's not his only reason I can just imagine Sirius loving being able to tell his mother he's dating a muggle! One more thing to prove how different he is to them.

I'm really happy you like Lydia! I was really nervous about writing her but you're reactions to her were what I was hoping for so you made me both really happy and really relieved!

You make a good point about Sirius's enthusiasm. It's hard not to get carried away with him but I think you're right and it's definitely something I will look into changing - thank you.

Ahh, thank you for pointing that out to - I've got a couple I need to sort so I will add it to my to do list.

Dan thank you so much for this review - it really made my day! Apologies again for the lateness of the response.

Lauren :)


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