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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here with that review that you requested a few weeks-ish ago. Sorry for the delay! :)

First of all, I really like how you've delved into Draco's perspective. He has a rather bleak outlook on life, and that's very understandable, considering his circumstances. The scene in which he met Voldemort was excellent. I can't say enough how great it is to see the villain's perspective!

Your grammar, spelling, and story flow are all very solid. Description is a tad on the minimalist side, which is totally understandable because of the mood you're conveying, which would be a grey mood (if moods were colors!). I could have used a tiny bit more description, but really, I'm just nitpicking. It was totally fine the way it was. :)

One thing that I would recommend you work on is varying your sentence structure. There were parts where the sentences were a bit too choppy for my liking, and it maybe interrupted the flow an infinitesimal amount. Again, this is a style thing, and I know that the truncated sentence structure kind of reflects Draco's mood and personality. It's really no major thing at all. This is me just nitpicking, because I can't find anything else to criticize! :D

This whole short story concept is such a great idea. I have really enjoyed reading and reviewing the two chapters that I've reviewed. :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I completely understand, believe me! :)

I've added notes to include a more description and work on my sentence structure.

This concept came to me after I had written the first chapter for the challenge and I got to thinking about the other dark wizards/witches and wondered how they became dark.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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