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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review. Sorry for being a bit slow; my goal is to review all three chapters in short order. :)

I like the flashback section that begins the prologue, it's brief but seems to set the stage well for future revelations about the Greengrass family. So far I really like how you portray Astoria. She's complex and relatable, and by the end of this chapter I was anxious to know how her interaction with Draco would develop.

Draco seems his haughty self overall, though I really can't picture him using reading glasses. :) I do like how you show the toll that the wizarding war is taking on him by describing his weight loss and under eye shadows. While he's definitely going to treat her with more respect than he shows Harry and his friends, I might expect him to cast a judgmental eye on Astoria and her possessions as the story continues. He might constantly assess how her family is holding up compared to his, how richly her house is furnished and so forth - a holdover from his "keeping up with the Joneses" upbringing.

Grammar and punctuation are clean throughout, and I think you achieve a great balance between description and dialog. I could easily picture Astoria and Draco sitting in the parlor of Greengrass Hall. On to chapter two! :)

Author's Response: Hi Elphaba!
Thank you so much for reviewing!
I'm delighted to hear that you like Astoria, and that you think the prologue works. I was unsure about it, initially, so I'm really grateful for the feedback.

I like your suggestion of putting a bit of a critical eye to Draco. I think that would be a great way to develop his character. I'll have to take a look and see if it fits in. He's been through a lot, at this point, so he's not exactly the person he was before, but he also isn't some shining example of heroism or high moral standards, and it would make perfect sense for someone who has lost so much to want to knock someone else down a peg.

Thank you so much for the specific suggestion! I LOVE specificity--it really helps me so much! I appreciate your taking time to give thought out, useful feed back. It's very kind of you.

P.S. I love your user name! Wicked is fantastic : D



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