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Review:MC_HK says:
You have good dialogue between Draco and Cleo. It's really witty and fast-paced, and that makes it enjoyable for me to read. Your imagery is also well executed and adds to your story.

Right off the bat I can spot some punctuation errors and a few grammar errors. They aren't too major, but they should be fixed just to help make the flow of the story smoother.

"Unfortunately for Draco, his parents didn't allow him to just quit after his sixth year. They thought it was crucial for Draco to finish his education despite all that had happened. Narcissa and Lucius required that he return to school." This sentence is kind of repetitive. Be careful to not repeat ideas in different spots of a paragraph, as it becomes tedious for the reader.

Cleo's personality kind of confuses me. She seemed to be really unhappy to go to Hogwarts, but now in this chapter she almost seems a bit eager. She also seems very easily put off by Draco, who just didn't know what her iPhone was. And she also didn't leave when she thoguht Draco was working for a magazine. If her personality could be smoothed out a bit more, I think that I would like reading her character more.

This is still a good chapter. You've got a good base that just needs a little bit of work done. Other than what I've mentioned here, you have the very good Draco who isn't OOC.

Always a good read, MC_HK

Author's Response: Cleo is a model, it makes sense that she is trained to be always friendly toward people, which that's what she did to Draco. I wasn't aware that I made her seem eager with that, but thank you for pointing that out. And thank you for the review, hopefully I'll be more careful next time :)

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