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Review:Roots in Water says:
Hello there!

It's great to see more insight into Ella's mind, as well as her friendship with Dominique. It's nice to see that they definitely have an understanding and that even though Ella might find some of her quirks annoying (just as Dominique undoubtably finds some of hers), she understands and doesn't argue with her friend. She knows that Dom's just trying to be helpful.

The "Hell Week" was very interesting as well. I like how you included more description of the individual activities - I don't think that I could survive ten laps around the Quidditch pitch, much less that piled on top of dozens of other physical activities. It does make sense that she'd earn at least some part of their respect through physical activity- after all, that's probably what they were really doubting her on.

My one big concern is: how on Earth does this happen during the school year? Shouldn't their schoolwork be their first priority (yes, I'm more academic than athletic :P )? How can they fit their schoolwork into Hell Week, when it sounds like their every moment is spent being physical?

Not that Ella can't handle it. She sounds like an amazing athlete. But you should be careful that she's not too amazing at everything. Like it or not, beating boys at every single physical activity/challenge when the boys are equally athletic themselves is unlikely. Surely she didn't do as well with some of the activities! Perhaps, to make her seem more human, you could add in more description of her fatigue/how she's coping with the week. :)

All in all, this was another good chapter and now I'm on to the next! Good work! :D

Author's Response: (Dom: told you- i was just being helpful!
Ella: *sticks out tongue immaturely*)
Oh Hell week. to (attempt) to answer your fabulous questions:
--Hell week itself is just a normal practice time-wise, except conditioning takes up the length of the practice. so they've still got plenty of time for school. Sorry if that wasn't clear in the chapter. (Don't worry, school will threaten Quidditch in future chapters. the story's set in their OWL year for a reason (; )
--And of course, Ella isn't as good as the boys at everything (Ella: Shut UP, Jilly! you promised we wouldn't talk about those arm-wrestling contests!) I just mentioned the specific activities in which she beat the guys because they were the points where she used physical activity to prove herself worthy to them. And i tried to use activities (ex: running, swimming, sit-ups) in which it would be more realistic for a girl to beat a guy.
--I thought that I had some exhaustion in there (???) sorry if she's coming off as a superhuman tireless robot. Maybe I'll add a scene where she falls asleep in class... (Ella: Ooh yes! I choose History of Magic! Dom: No! You can't miss the lesson on Ministers of magic from 1300-1400!)
Thank you for you're insightful, thought provoking questions! They're helping me see my writing from another perspective and have given me lots of ideas of things to improve/add!

Sorry for the constant interruptions of Dom and Ella. they do that sometimes.
Much love, Jilly


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