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Review:Calypso says:
Hello! I'm here from the forums to review your challenge entry :) And I must say that the beginning grabbed me straight away!

First off, I really liked the way you worked the song into this story, and the link with the Great Gatsby film's soundtrack- it was really neat! And the lyrics do work perfectly with Fleur, and the way she's perceived. It's a tough subject, but a very real one that you tackle here, about the way people treat Fleur because of her looks, but you manage it really well. I like the part where Fleur/you point out the fact that her appearance is really the least impressive thing about her, being basically down to genetics! You also made this work really well in the story...

It's such an interesting thought that Fleur decided to work at Gringotts to escape human stereotypes, and makes perfect sense with the character you've created for her.

The way you established Fleur's attitude to her appearance was good, because then when Bill appeared, it was really obvious why she fell for him. It was cute that she actually remembered Ron asking her out before the Yule Ball, but I get why she preferred Bill! He was so lovely, I wanted to give him a big hug, haha. I liked how you described the small things that showed how much he really cared about her.
I was also impressed with your use of the quote- it's written in a fairly old-fashioned manner, but it fitted into the narrative linguistically as well as plot-wise.

And ohmygoodness that end bit was so sweet! I was aww-ing all over the place. I loved the last line, and the way it summed up her faith in him and how he hadn't let her down... There were a couple of typos in this that you might want to check through for- they did interrupt the flow a little bit.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this! It was quite a different take on Fleur, and I thought that you captured her proud, slightly aloof voice pretty much perfectly! Great work, and I'll be posting the results soon!


Author's Response: Hello, I'm so so sorry for how late this reply is!

I really love this song, and it made me think of someone who wants to be seen for something more than just her looks - and Fleur came to mind almost immediately after that!

Yes, I love Bill - he's so sweet and gentleman-ly. I'm glad the quote fit in well; that was a bit of a concern based on the style differences!

I'm glad you liked the ending - and AHH I will go fix those typos ASAP.

Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'm so happy you liked this!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

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