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Review:Beeezie says:
Again, this was absolutely amazing. You continue to capture the time period, and I really enjoyed your characterization of Helena. She clearly has her priorities and is very single-minded, but she didn't come off as an overt rebel, which would have been a harder sell for the era, IMO. She's done very well.

My only real issue was that you occasionally talked about her body parts as if they were independent actors, which felt a bit strange. For example, at the beginning, when she was searching through the books, you wrote "the hand that wasn't assisting her in the search" - it almost came off as if her hand was not attached to her body. I noticed a couple other instances of this in other chapters, too, so I thought I'd mention it. Otherwise, your prose is lovely, as is the story thus far.

HOUSE CUP 2013 - RAVENCLAW

Author's Response: I agree that it would have been weird to depict Helena as this totally headstrong young woman with zero concern for societal expectations. She's a noblewoman and her family is famous and I think she understands all that comes with that, even if she doesn't like it most of the time. However, I definitely couldn't imagine her just taking all of it, either, so I tried to strike some kind of realistic balance between the two extremes.

Yeah, I can see how that would sound a little weird. I haven't looked at this chapter in a long time, but I'll have to go back and make some edits here and there now that the story is finally going to be completed.

Thanks for your lovely review!

-Amanda


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