I like your character a lot! Real sassy ;) Although, I don't find Ginny being the Ginny Weasley I pictured. I always thought she would be much how Harry is in the chapter, and if she was upset she would be just a bit annoyed. But this is your story and as long as you can remain consistent with her personality, I have no problem with that. It actually makes it pretty interesting. I also like that she is a Lestrange, and its really interesting to see how people treat her and judge her based on who her mother is.
I think the mini-prologue is a good way to give your readers a background on your character. It helps set up a lot of things for your story, and also helps the reader understand her better. Her personality really shines through. Your attention to details really help the reader visualize what's going on, and you don't add in too much to make it monotonous, but there is enough that I can clearly imagine what's going on.
I can understand why she is sad about the whole Ginny thing, but I don't think she really needs to cry about not being accepted by her. Harry just accepted her, her brother and friends were all there, and she was happy but when Ginny acted funny is when things went downhill fast. Like I said before, your character is sassy, and in that moment her personality had a dramatic shift. At the end where S'Mae says that it was his fault for yelling first and they wouldn't be in that mess, will it doesn't really make sense. If she hadn't been the one to yell along with him, then she wouldn't be in trouble either. To me, these kind of inconsistencies make it kind of difficult to keep up with the story and mess up the flow a little. You've also got a few repetitive words in there, so I'd go in and try to pick those out. There are some spelling errors, formatting errors, but nothing you or a quick beta couldn't fix.
I don't want you to be discouraged by what I've said here. Like I said on my topic, I believe in tough love. This is still a really good story that has a lot of potential and a great plot, but it still needs tweaking. I would really like to see it go on, and am curios to see where this goes. MC_HK
Author's Response: Thank you, so much! Like I said, I wanted every criticizing piece of opinion you had. I'm not at all discouraged; I wanted you to be tough and blunt! It helps me with my rewriting. I wrote this chapter a LONG time ago, and in my opinion, I've come very far along in my writing.
I'm glad you like the little prologue. I'm currently writing the prologue in my new version of the story. I'll be sure to make it similar in a way that I mention things that you liked. And yes, when I went and reread it, I thought I had made Ginny very OOC. I don't really see her like that either. Don't ask me what I was thinking! Yes, it's very dramatic, a little too much, in my opinion. Her crying is unnecessary, as you mentioned.
Thank you again, and I'm glad you pointed out everything you find wrong!