Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:DumbledoresArmyOfOne says:
Hi, DumbledoresArmyOfOne here from my review thread.

I really love the idea for this story. Ciara (is that pronounced like Kiara or Sierra?) seems like a really nice person- very motivated and hardworking, and I really like the way you write her.

The radio show is excellent- I love the Quidditch talk (just so you know, it's Appleby Arrows, not Apple Arrows ;) and Holmes seems like a riot. I'd love to see more of the show and all of the people who work on it!

Your characterization is very good, and you covered a lot of basic info here that is essential to a good opening paragraph. I'm excited to read more, which is always a good sign.

Is English your first language? Some of your syntax seems a little off, as if you're used to speaking french or spanish. Your writing is very good, and I think a Beta would help to clean up the little mistakes.

Things I'd love to see more of: Lily, Ciara's parents, some more descriptive writing. All in all, a great start! Keep on writing :)
~Gilly

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :)
Well, the Ciara is pronounced as Keira in the story and I used C instead of K is because I think it's cool and it is also Irish.

I really loved the idea of her being a radio host and she is a daughter of Jordan and Spinnet so she has to be a quiditch fan too.

Thanks for the Appleby I would correct it.

I am looking for a beta as I know I make silly mistakes and English is not my first language but I am trying to learn it my best.
The next chapter would be up soon. Hope I get a beta reader soon.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 440
Submit Report: