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Review:justonemorefic says:
Hi! I thought I could be your first review!

I see your first chapter is a lot about introducing your main character; I get a pretty good idea of what her family is like and what she likes to do. I rather love Oliver Wood :D and Quidditch stories, even if I personally have as much abilities in sports as a noodle. I like the idea of her mom being friends with the Potters! The Weasley/Potters did have humble beginnings.

I see a lot of description scattered through the story - her brown hair and eyes, and then about her house, for example, and then some sentences about her housemates. It might be a good idea to separate these descriptions and not tell all of this information at once, and spread it out through the story instead :) We don't need to know everything about her quite yet - it's still the first chapter!

I also see some usages of numbers like 3 story and 15 minutes, and these should be written as 'three' and 'fifteen', unless they're something special like Platform 9 3/4.

Aah, train meetings. I already like Shelby from her little bit at the end. It'd be nice to hear more about her housemates right in those ending paragraphs, actually!

Hope this helps as a first review ^__^

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