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Review:Beeezie says:
This is definitely one of the funnier House Cup story I've read so far. I couldn't help but smile at the very first sentence, and the smile didn't fade throughout the story.

I loved your choice to write about a non-human. You definitely used your imagination in how a gnome might think, and you gave him a really strong voice. The emphasis on how much he hated humans - other than Arthur, of course - was really funny but also pretty understandable, once I stopped to think about it for a minute. I also liked the fact that you portrayed Arthur as being so complicit in the gnomes' continued residence in the garden.

The fact that the gnome actually ended up in Italy with George and Angelina (I'm assuming) - and what's more, that he hated it - really made me giggle. That's certainly one thing that will convince you your home isn't so bad after all. :P

I did notice some grammatical errors here and there - mostly misplaced punctuation or similar things - but there weren't so many that it was really distracting. I'm not sure if they were just because of the time constraints around this or not, but either way, getting a beta to look over this quickly might be worth your time. :)

The only other issue I had was that there were times that I felt like you should have either been a little clearer in what was going on or should have cut the section out altogether. I get that you were trying to tell this from the gnome's perspective, and I appreciated that, but at the same time, it's not really worth it if it's just confusing to the readers, you know? The specific example that comes to mind is the girl who kidnapped his son - I'm assuming you're talking about Ginny, but that reference kind of lost me and left me feeling confused and didn't really add anything to the narrative for me.

Overall, though, great job. I really enjoyed the story! :)

House Cup 2013 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I am so glad that you found it funny. This is my first attempt at writing humour, so that makes me really happy!!! :)

Yeah, I can't imagine a gnome liking humans after how they're always being treated. I'm glad you agree :) And well, Arthur is just too kind to not care about them - also, I think he finds them quite funny - and feeding them will definitely make them want to stay, right? :)

Yeah, I am sure that this certain gnome will be very happy if he gets to stay in the Burrow for the rest of his life ;)

I'll take a second look at this and try to find errors. Thanks for pointing it out - English isn't my first language so I tend to miss out on it sometimes, so I really appreciate you mentioning it :D

I'm sorry to hear that you found that part confusing - yes, it was Ginny. I'll try to see if I can make it more clear somehow :)

I am so thrilled to hear that you enjoyed it. Thank you so very much for this review!!! :D


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