|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
Wow- this is such an original story. I really enjoyed reading this story- I think that you did a great job with your characterization, your description... Everything, really.
To begin, I really liked the idea for this story. There aren't too many stories centered around Rosmerta, but she's an interesting character in her own right. And to learn more about her (potential) past was fascinating. You did a good job of mixing in her memories of the past with her actions in the present.
The town she's from sounds charming, though our viewing of it was tainted by the sadness of Rosmerta's loss. I found the mystery of the wishing well quite interesting. Although it could be considered cheating, at least Jaxson didn't use it to do any harm. Instead, he used it as confirmation of his own feelings, and I can't begrudge him that. I'm also glad that Jayden didn't reveal its secret to Rosmerta. Like he thought, it would have ruined some of the memories for her.
Rosmerta's relationship with Jaxson, and her relationships with the other members of his family, were very well written. The manner in which you described them gave them a complexity that is very true to life. Although I wished that you'd have written in more of her interactions with Jaxson, so that we could better see what their relationship was like when he was alive (like why did he leave it so long before returning to get her?), you did a great job of describing everything within the word count.
The change in her relationship with Jayden was very interesting, particularly because it was a brother falling in love with his (long dead) brother's fiancee. However, you made it feel natural.
As well, I also really liked your description. It made everything come alive and your manner of writing really suited the tone of the story.
I did notice a few typos as I was reading and I thought I'd point them out. To begin, with the phrase "spending the better part", I think it would flow smoother if you added "after" before "spending". As well, with "the first to speak", should it be "first two"? And with "he dare not", I believe it should be "dared".
All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this one-shot. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Great work! :D
Author's Response: Roots in Water,
Thank you dearly for taking a chance on this story and for leaving this wonderful, in-depth review! Wow. It is hard to know how to respond...
Yes, Rosmerta is quite a minor character and there isn't much written about her. My mother-in-law owned her own restaurant for years and I was always perplexed with the amount of work she had to do to keep it going. You have to be smart and work hard. It is not for the weak. To, me, Rosmerta needed to fit the personality. :)
Also, many men fancied her, which tells me she probably wasn't without offers over the years. :)
Oh, I'm so glad you liked the town and it's 'magical' wishing well. Yes, it was certainly cheating, but they did not use it for harm. And Jayden is a good fellow to not mention it. :)
Thanks for mentioning the interactions with family. In real life, we all might not agree with what to do when someone dies. People deal with grief differently. Thanks so much for thinking it was realistically written.
And oh, that word count! I struggled and butchered many details to try to get the word count down, down, down. Ugh! It was grueling and a true challenge to cut precious moments/feelings/scenes.
And thank you for saying that it felt natural. Falling in love with a brother's former love would be awkward and feelings would be restrained, perhaps never revealed.
You give me wonderful compliments to me as a writer. I really appreciate it very much.
And thanks for pointing out a few things to work on. :)
Thank you sincerely,