|Review:||teh tarik says:|
MAZZAY! Erhmahgerd! I see you everywhere on HPPC and I've heard some of your very wonderful podcasts as well, but I hardly see you on HPFF. So I'm so pleased to have the opportunity to read some of your writing. I read your response to one of your reviews in which you stated that you're not a writer, and I'm a bit puzzled here, because this story that I've just read and which I'm now reviewing directly contradicts that statement you've just made. Honestly, the quality of your writing is truly exceptional; not many writers can capture an eight year old's POV with such energy, wit, smoothness and humour. One paragraph into the story, and I was absolutely captivated by how lively and engaging the writing and the narrative was. You know eight-year-olds so well! :P
Dominique is a spunky, sprightly little girl, and a very attention-demanding one as well. I absolutely loved these sentences: She had informed her parents of this at breakfast one morning, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised as she gave them the news. She pursed her lips as she awaited their response, believing that they would immediately be remorseful and start to treat her the way she deserved to be treated. ♥ Her character is written with such clarity and purpose, and her voice and POV merge with the narrative flawlessly. There's not a lot of dialogue in the first part of the story, but because your narrative is so well-entrenched in Dom's eight-year-old thoughts, her characterisation really scintillates through the prose. Sorry, I'm repeating stuff.
This story tugged a little at my heartstrings; it made me nostalgic because I, too, ran away when I was a child :P My folks and I were staying by this lovely beach and on the last day or so, I decided to run away so I could stay on that beach forever or something like that :P Well, I didn't get far; I made it to the end of the beach, started climbing the rocks, fell and hurt myself and limped back. And of course, nobody noticed my absence. :P ACK SORRY GOT DISTRACTED
Anyway, back to the review. I love how she meets Joey in the park, and that he too is a similar runaway who turns out to be the younger brother of Jonathan who is actually infatuated with Victoire who in turn is infatuated with him! This is so tangled but it's an incredibly fluffy and sweet element of the story. And of course, things really look much brighter for Dom because hey, she's got a brand new friend in a new neighbourhood.
You did a wonderful job showing Dom's resentment toward her family and initial resoluteness to run away, which, of course wavers the further she goes away from her house. Lovely character development there!
Gah, absolutely enjoyed this oneshot, Mazzay! It's a very lovely warm and fluffy piece about family and friends and growing up and all the complexities and drama of the changing relationships within a family. Great work, and I really do hope you'll keep those stories coming!