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Review:marauder5 says:
Hello, I'm here for the House Cup review!

I love it when people take a line from the books and create an entire story around it, like the way you have done here. I also really love how you began telling it from the old lady's POV, and how she was happy to live in such a quiet place (throughout that whole section, I was thinking 'Yeah, right. Just wait...')

And then you changed to Charlie's POV. I think he was very smoothly introduced, when you said that "In the front row, a young man with red hair..." That worked really well, I think.

My only suggestion would be to develop the scene where he actually lands upon her. I think it has the potential to be an even funnier moment :) Perhaps she could get more upset? Be a little more cranky? I think it would work, because it would make Fred's comment (some poor old dear doing her shopping) more sarcastic and witty, which seems very in character for him :)

But of course, that is a very minor thing. I really enjoyed this story the way it is, it was really well written, and I was so relieved when Mr Weasley found Charlie!! ;)

Author's Response: Yes that poor old lady. She enjoyed the quiet life so much and then BAM! Charlie lands on top of her. It's so much fun to take a line from teh books and then expand on it, don't you think? So pleased you enjoyed it.
cheers Mel

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