Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
This is the first of your stories that I've read, and I'm sitting here, stunned, wishing that this story hadn't ended, that you'd written a giant novel about Fred's journey through the underworld and his strange relationship with Death. It's unlike anything I've read before, taking a new perspective on a wizard's death that's intensely mythical, with its seven tasks for the hero to overcome. But JKR's version of Death is like this, something out of ancient mythology - he's a betting god who loves games and jokes, even moreso than the Weasley Twins. I can envision this version Death just letting other people pass into the afterlife because they're boringly normal, but he singles out Fred, not only because he's an expert prankster, but because Fred is only half of a whole.

That is one aspect of your story that sets it apart - that Fred is still intensely connected to his twin, even in death, so that George can save him from pride. Fred knows what he really is because he has George - his mirror image has always been a real person who isn't afraid of being honest with him, and this adds a fascinating dimension to that final scene. There are a lot of fascinating elements to this story, and if I began to list them off, I'd basically repeat your story in this review. The imagination you've displayed here has blown me away.

But there's another side to this story, too, and that's how Fred observes the aftermath of his death. He experiences so many emotions in that scene as he tries to comprehend what's happened to him, desires to comfort and protect his family, and deal with his new physical form (or lack thereof). You describe the whole scene and his reactions with excellent clarity while still paying close attention to style, such as in Fred's slightly fragmented thought patterns. I had trouble looking away from this story, you wrote it so compellingly, bringing those worlds to life. You did this too well, probably, which is why it doesn't feel like a one-shot - it feels like it needs to go on, that this ending isn't actually the end, if that makes sense at all.

This is fantastic and I'm glad that the House Cup provided you with the opportunity to write such a story. Please write more in the future! I'd love to see what other kinds of stories you come up with and get another taste of your wonderful writing style. ^_^

Author's Response: Susan, you can't imagine how much it means to me that you took the time to review my story. You're the author I look up to most, so when I saw that you'd left your thoughts I couldn't have been happier! :D

I must confess my idea of this story didn't start with Death being too bored, thus approaching Fred to have a bit of fun, rather a great deal of "what if's". All the story ideas I have come from different what if's mashed together. After I realised I wanted the Devil to be the strange person that contacts Fred, I did think about the reasons why he chose him particularly, but I'm not going to disclose them right now. You'll see later on in the story ;)

Aww, you make me blush! I am internally squealing right now because characterisation is one of the aspects I fret most about when writing something on the realm of fanfiction. And yes, you're right. Fred is still closely connected to his mortal life, still attached to his loved ones and there is no one else he loved more than George. So I thought it was the most natural thing in the world to have George's voice shaking some sense back into him. After all, they were twins. They knew each other on such deep levels that no one could have been able to pull Fred back from completely giving into the Devil's temptation.

It isn't planned like a one shot. That observation is very spot on ;) I only wrote it this way so that I could submit it for the HC, but after the event is finished, I plan on continuing the story. It's probably going to be a novella, with a chapter dedicated to each sin.

I am seriously blushing right now. Your praises make me grin every time I read them! I'm very happy you enjoyed the immediate aftermath of Fred's death. I thought a long time about the best way to write that scene because I didn't want to go overboard with intense feelings, but I didn't want to make it too plain either. To my surprise, when i sat down to actually write it, the words kept pouring out of me so naturally that I hardly needed to edit that part. It's never happened to me before.

I have other stories pending so I hope you stayed tuned because nothing would make me happier than hearing from you again *hugs*

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 994
Submit Report: