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Review:maskedmuggle says:
Hey!

I thought this was a really interesting fic! I really enjoyed reading about Molly Weasley, who is generally a lesser written next-gen character as compared to Rose or James or Albus, so it was definitely great to see a fic focused solely on her! I loved the idea of Molly being a bit too naughty and how Percy would consider making her transfer to Salem!

The characterisation of Molly was solid, but I do feel that it was a bit too much perhaps? It seemed to conflict at times - like, she was naughty and had friends that were boys, but at the same time, she was into reading books, into make up, Quidditch, had played the flute for years, enjoyed singing and was all around very creative. Overall, Molly having all these aspects to her just seems to lack a bit of believability, but regardless, I did think that her internal thoughts were well written throughout the story.

I also found Molly's abrupt change in perspective perhaps rather too abrupt? One second she was adamantly against it, but the next it was like she couldn't wait to go - it also seemed a bit weird that she would act like this: "Once I got home I started straight on my homework". The other thing I would say is just consider having a read through of this - I found that at times there were tense changes (it was mainly past tense, but there were a few sentences in present tense throughout) and also one or two sentences that didn't quite make sense, such as "When we arrive and Salem" - which should be When we arrived at Salem". Also, the night bus should be the Knight Bus?

Regardless of those things though (little details), I really enjoyed reading this story and getting an insight into an interesting portrayal of Molly. I find that lots of writers actually make Molly into some really good studious girl (kind of like Hermione), just because her father is Percy, and it was really refreshing to see that she wasn't quite like that. So, great plot and a nicely written story :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2013 Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the criticism.
I agree with you on all that you said.
It was a very, very rushed story, and I actually didn't even have time to read it over before submitting it because I have just had so much going on.
Hence why there were so many troubles :/
Thank you so much, and I will definitely do some hard-core editing once I have more time! Thank you! (:

~Sarah


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