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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Wow, this story is excellently written, especially that first section with its confessional style, the intimacy of which offers more insight into Cho's character than we get from the entire HP series. I'm drawn to your portrayal of Cho as being caught in stasis - wanting to move on, but finding it impossible. Her world is cast in shades of death - she can't overcome what happened, and I think that a lot of her problem is also guilt, that if she does move on, it will be at Cedric's expense. She has to leave him behind, but she needs to find a way of doing so that doesn't mean abandoning his memory. It's a moving depiction of a grief transformed into depression (if not outright melancholy), and the style - fragmented, broken, perfectly reflects her state of mind.

This creates an interesting contrast with the second half of the story. Its language flows more smoothly, giving a sense of movement - the movement of the train, Cho's movement into a different state of mind. She becomes less morbid, instead revealing her sensitivity to the world around her, the things that have been and are - she's able to revel in experiencing the outside world, taking comfort in its real-ness. The way that you introduced this second with that hopeful statement "I'm going on an adventure" - well, it at least sounds hopeful - is curious, and I'm still thinking over that line. Does she mean "adventure" ironically, or does it instead point to just how isolated and reclusive she has become? Or does it also foreshadow what's to come, that the next big adventure is waiting for her, and she's finally going out to seek it? There's a lot just in that one line - it suits the style of the story as a whole, how it is open-ended and bittersweet. Cho is in this in-between stage, and it is oddly fitting that in revisiting the grave - the memory that keeps holding her back - she discovers the way forward.

There's something elusive and ambiguous about the story that makes me keep looking back, reading over sentences and paragraphs. I've really enjoyed reading this and I think you've done a wonderful job with Cho's characterization. However, it's the style of your writing that makes this story so compelling, your use of imagery and your syntax coming together to create something beautiful. Incredible work! ^_^

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