Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:marauderfan says:
Here with your requested review! Sorry this one wasn't as quick! Since you didn't list any areas of concern for this one, here's just a jumble of my thoughts as I read it:

I love the way you intentionally mislead the reader, making everything seem incredibly dramatic and scary, but then it's something mundane. I think it's great. And it shows how Lorcan really has a flair for the dramatic!

Lorcan's Boggart was pretty hilarious. Poor kid though, surrounded by 14 of his greatest fear, who all love him. (I was slightly reminded of Sir Galahad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, haha.) But good for Lorcan, he's a good sport putting up with them for that long!

This might just be part of your intentionally misleading style, but in the beginning you mention the "lion's den", so I assumed Lorcan was going to meet with the Gryffindor, but then he meets a Slytherin, and they're no lions! So maybe I'd re-word the bit about the lion's den - if you're looking for things that sound scary, perhaps "pit of snakes" will do? (Unless of course that's too obvious!)

I was also curious how Lucy Weasley got involved with psychoanalysis. I kept thinking she was making up everything she said, basically just acting as a middleman for Lysander. So I was a bit confused why she was doing that, but otherwise I like the way you wrote her personality!

My one nitpicking comment for the chapter - Lucy says "I could care less" when it should be "I couldn't care less". ;)

Great second chapter, I really liked it!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so sorry that it's taken me agggeeesss to reply to your review! D:

Hahahaha, Sir Galahad... I never thought of that. I'm glad you saw it. That's pretty funny!

Yes, I mentioned the "lion's den" at the beginning, and I didn't mean to be misleading. When I wrote that, I hadn't decided which House Lucy would be in. So I probably should change that to make it fit better. Thanks for pointing it out! :)

Because I wrote the majority of this story while I was studying for a Psychology final, I put Lysander and Lucy on the two most opposite ends of the psychology spectrum: psychoanalysis (Lysander) and behaviorism (Lucy). I might need to think up a suitable backstory for each of them, because their psychology knowledge seems to spring up from nowhere. I'll see what I can do! I wrote Lucy in the snarkiest manner that I could, and I'm very happy that you liked how I wrote it! :)

Agh, I ALWAYS get that wrong. "I could care less" definitely means that the person cares a lot. Gr... I will fix it! Thank you so much for pointing it out!

Thanks for your wonderful review!

~UnluckyStar57


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 121
Submit Report: