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Review:MC_HK says:
Hello there :)

Your story has really great potential. I get a very 'Mean Girls' vibe about it :) The dialogue is hilarious and I like how descriptive you are. I do think this works well with the plot and sets a lot of things up for future chapters. Each character's personality is very bold and stands out, making them each unique in their own respect.

The flow is good, but it's not as smooth as it could be. I feel like you jump around a lot with your ideas and then you rush through them to get back to the main story line. Maybe clump up a few of the intermediate ideas and wait a little longer before inserting another one. There are also a lot of words missing, and some of your grammar is off. I suggest using a quick beta on the chapter to help point out the grammatical and spelling errors here. There are also a lot of repetitive words, so I would go through it carefully and change some of those, as that also kind of falters the flow of the chapter.

Other than that, I did enjoy reading this. It made me laugh (which is always a good thing) and I find it very fun to read. Good job :) I look forward to reading more, MC_HK

Author's Response: Hello :)

I'm glad you like their personalities, I wasn't to sure how they would come across.

I got that feeling as well, but I wasn't too sure. I'll be sure to look for one!!

Thank you for your review, it was really helpful!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)


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