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Review:MC_HK says:
Being a psych minor myself, I loved this! :)

The opening was awesome! I love how fun this is to read and how easily it makes me smile :) Comedic genius, I tell ya!

I personally think you kind of forced the non-romance a bit. It kind of screamed NO ROMANCE where a simple statement would do, but I suppose that was what you were going for lol so don't mind me :/

If you're worried about flow, you shouldn't be. I think it flows great, and the characters are so amusing! Their dialogue is priceless! The conversation feels natural and their personalities really shine through which is super important.

If I really had to nit-pick, I would say add some more detail in the dialogue. Like conversation wise, add in facial expressions or tones of voices more often to help the reader be able to "hear" the conversation better. But don't overdo it, because then it just becomes tedious to read, so find that happy medium that you can really help paint a picture, but not make it boring.

Overall, I loved this. Its so funny and a great read. I look forward tor eading more :) MC_HK

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad that you have a psych background so that you could understand my many references! :)

The object of the No Romance challenge was to really over-emphasize how much romance was NOT a part of the story, and I may have gone a bit overboard in the beginning. It certainly can get tiring after a while, and I hope that it isn't too prevalent in the rest of the story. I totally understand where you're coming from. :)

When I edit this story sometime down the road, I'll certainly take a second look at the dialogue. That's one thing that I'm not so brilliant at--finding that happy medium in dialogue. Thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for your lovely comments and constructive criticism. I really am very grateful for it! :D

~UnluckyStar57


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