I really loved the opening section, it was just really fascinating to see the dynamics of the Order and the outside world, because sometimes when we follow Lily and James we donít always find out the full extent of it. Dumbledoreís thoughts were really touching and the part about watching these students grow up and then having to send them out to fight was so sad. I never really thought about it from his perspective but after reading that it makes you wonder how wracked with guilt he was after each death.
This line ĎBut they were still just children.í Really shows what I mean ♥
The banter between all of them at breakfast was fun to watch! I wish I had seen that match in fifth year it would have been funny but also slightly disgusting at the same time. Poor James! You did the transition to the more thoughtful and almost worrying Lily really well. Of course sheíll get admitted to the healing school though it will be interesting to see whether she decides to balance both that and the Order at the same time. Iím inclined to say yes but I guess Iíll have to wait and see.
No the Potter canít be getting old! Theyíre so sweet and if they died I may actually cry. Ok I know they have to die, but I can at least hope itís due to some old age thing and not because of the Death Eaters because that death wouldnít be pleasant in the slightest. Ack the suspense! I almost thought the Potters had suddenly started hating on Belle because it was so long, but thank Merlin it was good news!
Hmm I do wonder how long theyíre going to stay in this flat before moving in with their respective boyfriends. Or maybe something horrible like Belle dying will cause Lily to move in with James. Gah I really should stop thinking of everyone dying, but thatís the problem with Marauders story because itís inevitable there will be lots of deaths.
Hell yeah to this line! ĎHe knew they didnít stand the best chance of winning the House Cup this year, Ravenclaw well ahead of all three houses.í Though I think you might have missed a was after Ravenclaw or it could be a with, either one I guess :)
The present idea for James was really sweet and he did deserve because he put in so much for the team. Itís going to be sad to not see all the other Hogwarts people in the next book, but I suppose weíll get to meet a whole new range of others which will be cool.
I forgot that Frank commentated at the quidditch matches! Iíve really loved him having a bigger part in this chapter as he is a great character and one I do enjoy reading. Though that might be because I think Alice and Frank are just so adorable together! I have to say Jami I feel so proud of you of showing nearly all of the quidditch match given how much you hate them! I suppose it is the last one so you never have to write one again after this!
Sirius was great during the quidditch match! I think it was just the cocky smile which really made it as it was so him. I have to admit I did enjoy reading what they were doing more than the match but then again I donít particularly like sport so thatís probably why :P Aw and we got Sirius/Belle fluffy bits! You need to stop putting them in Jami, because theyíre in danger of taking over James and Lily on the fluff scale!
Ok given that youíre a Gryffindor I shouldnít have been surprised that they won the match and cup! I tend to make Ravenclaw win far more times than they probably should too :P Lily should join in with the party she deserves it! I mean, if she heard what the head girl at my school got up to she wouldnít have anything to worry about at all :P
Then the ending was perfect. Perfect in a way of realism not as in Lilyís mental state mind. I really like how Alrek is still continuing to play with Lilyís mind and itís making me wonder how long it will continue to do so. Another amazing chapter Jami ♥
Author's Response: Hi lovely girl! I hope summer holiday is treating you well! I always wonder how guilty him and McGonagall must've felt at times. It's not like they forced anyone to join, but just seeing so many young people die through both wars couldn't have been easy :(
I have an odd theory. In this book, Dumbledore -- he he isn't thrilled about it -- is still pretty quick to give the group information and let them handle themselves as adults instead of sheltering them. Then in the HP series he really tries to shield things from Harry that he thinks might be too difficult to take in. It kind of built itself into my canon that he wasn't as careful with Harry's parents, and that played into part of the reason that he held back so much from their son. It might be all crap, but it's there in my head regardless :P!
I love those just everyday friend scenes, and I'm so excited you liked it. There will definitely be a lot of changes that the group doesn't plan on, and I'm so anxious to see what you think about all those!
If it helps, the majority of people I've introduced you to/kept bringing back in this will probably be turning up in book two again ;). I think that's one of the most fun parts about knowing I have a sequel to play with, is i don't really have to say goodbye to any of the minor characters that I may want to pick back up :P!
I'm so excited you liked the present! I thought he deserved it for being such a good little captain! I was thinking along the same lines of you, that at least this was the last match I'll ever have to write, until I remembered about my Oliver story :P! But he's the manager in that so at least it'll be able to get written from a watchers prospective. It's just SO HARD to write from a player who is, well, playing! I'm so relieved you liked it though! Knowing you're proud of it gave me all sorts of feels ♥
Hahaha to be totally honest, I'd probably have had hufflepuff win the cup and have done things differently from the start, except for we know James's name was on a Quidditch Cup trophy and he was listed as captain. And, as this is the only year I've made him captain, I had no real choice but for Gryffindor to win. Poof Puffs... haha! I still can't get over that head boy and girls actually exist, haha!
I'm so happy you liked the ending and the chapter ♥ thank you again for another awesome review, Kiana! Three more to go!!