Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review! :)

First of all, I didn't have any trouble following the story despite not having read the one that precedes it. It seems like an interesting twist on the zombie genre so far. At first I wondered what had happened to Scorpius, because his condition is so strange, but I gradually gathered that he died and was revived by a defibrillator-like spell gone wrong.

I found your description of Scorpius's resuscitation intriguing though (intentionally?) vague. It pulled me into the story immediately, making me want to find out what had happened. I like that his condition unfolds gradually over the course of this chapter, rather than spilling out all at once.

I'm finding your writing style and the first person narration fascinating. I like that Scorpius's voice is bluntly self aware and tinged with a slightly bitter sense of humor. Lines like this made the chapter a pleasure to read: "I am so impossible it's a wonder that I haven't already collapsed into my own event horizon."

I don't know whether his voice was similarly sarcastic before his death, but it seems to fit with having been bullied. I find it refreshing that he was weak and wore glasses, and was apparently not a little copy of Draco.

After Scorpius said, "There is little similarity between the two," I began to wonder what had changed for him, beyond the obvious? How will his "life" develop now?

Flora seems like an interesting character, though I don't know much about her yet, and I hope she that she will develop further in this story. While both of them were likely firmly established in the last story, I hope that they will continue to grow and change in this one.

I'm definitely hooked enough to read another chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Ooh, that's good to hear! I hoped people who weren't acquainted with the original could still enjoy this, so I'm glad it was easy enough for you to follow - I may reconsider scenes with Flora, though. She was the narrator of the last story, so I haven't done much to explain her character in this one!

I'm glad you like the style! I have written in first person before, but it's been a while since I'd tried present tense and it was a little hard to get used to. It was especially odd trying to squeeze into a very specific voice, so, wheee, I'm glad you like it! He was a little sarcastic and conceited in the last story and, yes, I do love my bespectacled woobie Scorpiuses c:

Ooh, thank you for picking up on that! It's difficult to draw a comparison between the two halves of his life because the last story was written from another character's perspective, but I hope I can pull it off - I will bear that comment in mind when working on later chapters and try to bring it back at the end.

Thank you so much for your comments! ♥

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 582
Submit Report: