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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here for the B v. B review battle! :D

So, I chose to review this story because I noticed that it didn't have any reviews yet, and I wanted to be the first to tell you how awesome it is! I love the way you've written Lily, all sarcastic and biting, and not TOO much of an academic slave. She seems like an interesting version of herself!

Also, I'm very glad that you haven't introduced James yet. That makes for more of a build-up to the actual event. From this chapter, I can tell that Lily isn't overly fond of James, but I'll only know if she hates him when they meet face-to-face. Is the Amos of "His Royal Pratness" fame the Amos Diggory of later years? It's very interesting to see that Lily actually thinks more people than just James and Sirius are prats!

My favorite bit of characterization, however, had to be Mary MacDonald. I've usually seen her as the plain friend, the boring one, and just kindo f an auxiliary member of the group. In your story, she actually has a voice and a personality, and she isn't just the girl version of Peter Pettigrew. Speaking of him, I hope that he also has a personality when he comes in--but I'm sure that you've got him in mind for something that's more worthy of a Marauder than he usually does in the world of fanfiction. :)

The only mistake I found was this: "then he'd talked to you,..." Well, taken out of context, it actually makes sense, but in the story, it should read "then he'd talk to you." That's the only little blip that I saw, though, so great job!! I love it when stories are grammatically correct! :)

Great first chapter! I hope to see more!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry I'm getting to this so late but I'm finally getting to answer the review!

I would like to say thank you for the comment and that the story has been a little bit lonely. But, anyway, I was hoping to make Lily more than a nerd with a hatred for James Potter.

Naturally, she isn't overly fond of him but I like to think that she toned down on the hazing as the years went by. Amos is indeed the Amos Diggory of later years. I never really understood why Lily only thought that James and Sirius were parts, surely she must've disliked other people in the school.

I haven't read many stories with Mary in them but I do agree that the ones that she is in she ends up fading into the background a bit. There will definitely be lots of Peter in the story and he will most certainly not be wallflower material.

Thanks for pointing out the little blip (I plan on editing everything as soon as possible), I'll make sure to fix it once I have access to a computer and some Internet.

Thanks for reviewing!


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