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Review:AlexFan says:
Hey! I'm here with your requested review!

Alright, well I think you've got an interesting start and it does sound kind of cliche but everything has been practically done so it's kind of hard to be really original.

I can't say that the characters sound exactly crazy because I haven't seen them do anything crazy. From the descriptions I'm the story they sound just like any normal teenagers.

The biggest thing that I think you have to deal with here is grammar and punctuation errors. I'll come right out and say it, there's a lot of them and it interrupts the general flow of your writing. They stand out and they're very noticeable. Some of your sentences are hard to understand because they don't make sense so I would suggest fixing that.

My advice would be to read over the chapter out loud because that's often when you find out the mistakes that you've made in your writing. You could also get a beta user to help you out and look over your chapter. They're really helpful and they come across things that you maybe skipped of didn't see.

Author's Response: I have been trying to make sure they aren't clique. Mostly because they are based on my friends and myself: as you said everything seems to have been written though. I am going to look for a beta for this story but they ask that when you look for story betas that you take two weeks in between each post for each story. Thanks for your input

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