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Review:AlexFan says:
I smell trouble with Margaret! Maybe it's because I haven't read this story in a while but I don't remember her. Anyhow, she clearly has it out for Merissa and I suspect that things will only get worse.

I have a theory that Margaret stole Merissa's wand as well as put her satchel at the end of Merissa's bed just to be mean. Sometimes gestures of friendship come out wrong but this is not one of those times.

There was a pretty even balance of description and dialogue although there was a tad more dialogue than description which isn't a bad thing. You misspelled Episkey several times but other than that there wasn't much else in the grammar department. And most importantly, the plot is finally moving along! It was a little bit slow in the beginning but now it's starting to pick up!

Anyway, overall good job!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Margaret made a fairly sudden appearance in this chapter and has since been written into the earlier chapters. :I

Margaret made her appearance as I changed the perspective of the story and hadn't given enough consideration to her characterization.

Margaret actually isn't as mean as she appears - there is a reason. I'll revise the earlier chapters to clarify what's happening to Margaret. Though I'll give a hint - there is a particular family with a particularly infamous ring...

I've fixed the spelling for Episkey. And I'll look through the earlier chapters to see if I can pick up the plot a little more.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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