Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Lululuna says:
Hello, I'm here for your review, and I'm so so sorry about the wait! :(

I'm so pleased to return to Ambrosia and her slightly creepy interactions and relationships, and this chapter was so exciting. I never thought Voldy could seem attractive or appealing to a woman, especially after he began his regime, but you wrote it so well and convincingly. The casual, girly conversations with Bella were so chilling in a way with the knowledge of what she will become: the girls gushing about the wedding and planning these ordinary things really situated them as normal young girls, which makes their ambitions and interest in the dark arts even more disturbing.

Another thing I really liked was the reference to other DE, like the details about Rosier. You have the perfect setup to really delve into the dynamics and structure of the DE themselves and the specific personality and details of minor characters, so I'd love to read more of that! :)

Ambrosia herself just seems so ordinary and likeable, and I feel like I'm starting to get a good read on her personality. Her fascination with Voldy was very chilling but written very well, and the intensity and her attraction to both his physical and powerful presence were great. I like the focus on his having blue eyes, which shows how his transformation into the terrifying being we know from the HP books is still in progress. That actually makes sense, since most likely being reborn isn't great for the appearance. One thing I would have liked is to read more of your lovely description, which I remember being so powerful in the first chapter. Balancing out the dialogue with description, like what Voldy looks like, even what Ambrosia looks like, and setting the scene in a sensory way would have improved an already awesome chapter for me. :)

This is such an original story, and I can't wait to see where you take it. I hope you re-request, and I'll do my best to be a bit faster in getting back next time! :)

Author's Response: Hello Again!

As always, it was a pleasure to read your review, and worth the wait! I'd like to apologize in turn for taking so long to respond. I never mean to fall off the face of the Earth for extended periods of time, but sometimes it happens anyway. ;)

I love coming up with ways to portray Ambrosia and Bellatrix as young and normal. I really do. I feel that that's exactly the way the Black sisters would have interacted before all of the myriad influences that made them into what they are finally started to take their toll, and it's awesome that it comes across as a bit disturbing, because it disturbs me too! I'm dying to get into their corruption (and with it, my plot!) in more detail, but I'm still very much in setup stage, and college means that I have to go slow. :/

I'm glad you liked the details of the minor Death Eaters too! I plan on giving a few of them very distinct personalities and stories, because they are close enough to the sisters to affect their lives. I like Rosier in particular, and have always wondered about him, not only because he chose death before Azkaban, but also because he wounded Mad-Eye Moody, and Merlin knows that's no small feat!

I went back and forth on Voldemort's eye color for a while. I know it's supposed to be brown, but I was hoping that blue would make the change to red starker, and it sounds like it does, so that was nicely vindicating to read about. :)

I appreciated your advice about sensory detail as a whole as well. I hadn't noticed that I was slipping away from it, but going back through my chapters I can see that you're right. I seem to have been getting impatient! Haha.

Anyway, thank you again for your wonderful feedback. I will re-request as soon as I can get myself together enough to edit the next chapter (Finished!) and I am glad as ever to hear that you enjoyed this chapter.

Best wishes,

- Warrior


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 630
Submit Report: