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Review:KiwiOliver says:
KO here with your RR: (Hope you're thinking of boxing!) :p
Before I start I need to say that I found your first line really good, it really set the mood for this chapter :)
Oh I like the little bit at the end about Scorpius! It left me wanting more! :)
Okay you asked me to look over a few things, so I'll do them in order :)
First, is Rose Likable/Relatable ect:
Rose is really likable character and you've made her very well, she's ambitious, yet is left in the shadow of her famous family. She asks lots of questions and notices lots of details about the people around her, like a true journalist. (You've made her that good it makes me wonder if you've had any journalist experience in your life, I bet you have, you're writings that good it's only fitting to have it shown to everyone!)
She seems like a realistic character so far, I'm looking forward to seeing how she develops. :)
Lorcan seems like a good character, and I thought there might have been a bit of chemistry between him and Rose, as she described his looks and not her friends early in the chapter. We don't see much of him so there isn't much to say but since you've already mentioned him and given him a reason to go to Egypt with Rose, it'll make it all the more believable when he does go!
You've put Roses excitement across really well, it wasn't just a straight yes, she thought about it, weighed up the pros and cons first. How very much like her mother :)
I don't think the ending was rushed at all, I think if it had been any longer it might have gotten dull, and any shorter I'd be left wondering what's happening!
Overall a really intriguing chapter, I can't wait to find out where it goes and read some more of your amazing writing :)
Feel free to re-request the rest if you'd like reviews, I know I'll probably read on anyway :p
KO

Author's Response: Haha, I am!

Ooh thank you, I have to credit to Susan Hill's The Woman in Black for inspiring that! Haha, well you meet Scorpius in chapter two so I'm not that mean in that respect!

I'm glad that you liked Rose, because I think that's my biggest worry when writing a character. I'm glad that she appears like a true journalist, because the only experience I've really had is working for my school's newspaper! It's sort of my version of myself if I wasn't too scared to ask questions all of the time!

Haha, I didn't mean for there to be chemsitry between Rose and Lorcan! In my head he always seemed a bit gay, and nothing really romantic happens between them in this story but it made me laugh! Lorcan appears later on, so I'm glad that it seems realistic to you!

I'm glad Rose seemed like her mother because I always viewed her as Hermione 2.0 so it's always fun to write her.

Oh few! I hate endings because there's always such a build-up to it and I'm never entirely sure whether I lived up to it or not! Thank you for this amazing review and lovely compliments in it, I'll definitely be re-requesting! :D

-Kiana



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