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Review:teh tarik says:
Hello there! I stumbled across this story and was quite attracted by the banner, and captivated by the summary, so I decided to stop by and read a bit. Gah, I'm so happy that I did. This is honestly an amazing start. There's a very well-developed atmosphere of mystery and intrigue and all sorts of tension, political and personal, and from this chapter, I get the feeling that this story is going to be a complex and very intriguing one.

I love your interpretation and portrayal of Astoria here. She has a cold, haughty and very practiced exterior, but on the inside, there is a sense of vulnerability to her character, and a deep sense of loss from her mother's death, which has yet to be explained. I love the amount of detail you use to convey Astoria's frame of mind, the way her hands move, her crossing her ankles - these little details are so telling. In fact, I just love your use of descriptive detail in this chapter; some of your phrases were so well-wrought and slick and perfectly worded e.g. the "purple thumbprints pressed into the pale flesh beneath (Draco's) eyes", the way Lavinia Greengrass frowns, like a "fissure between her eyebrows", the intricacy of the coat rack etc. These are small details, but incredibly striking, which made your characters and settings so easy to visualise, and the situations so convincing.

This was a very interesting portrayal of Draco, as well. He seems much older than he was, in 1998; in the war, he was just 17 or 18, but he seems aged and tired and almost resigned, and his thinness and the general unhealthiness of his appearance indicates the stress of his position under the Dark Lord's regime. It's incredibly interesting that VOldemort sends him to interrogate the other pureblood families on their alliances; I've never actually thought what Voldemort would assign Draco to do, which would be suited to his capabilities. So it's quite refreshing to read this. You've elevated his role and involvement as an active Death Eater during the war, and made him a more significant player in the regime. And bahaha! Draco wears reading glasses! :P

Anyway, this is a fantastic start! I will certainly read on. Your writing is so polished and well-crafted, and this chapter is just a pleasure to read. Great stuff.

-teh

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It is so encouraging to get reviews, and yours was just so nice!

This was my first foray into doing anything with that amount of detail, so I am so very glad that you liked it : D

And as for Draco, I guess I wanted to explore what he would have really been like in the war, taking how sort of desperate and hollow he was in Book 6 and extrapolating to see where he would be. I'm glad you found it interesting. And I am sooo glad you liked Astoria, who is the morally questionable darling of my authorly heart.

Thank you so much, again, for the lovely review!
--Penny


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