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Review:BellaFan202 says:
You asked me to read this, so I did, even though I really really really do not ship this. It was kind of difficult for me to read because of this, and also I'm not really sure how good of advice I can give you because this is the only Harry/Hermione fic I have ever read in my entire life so I don't know how it compares to others. But I'll try anyway.

First thing's first: There were a lot of grammar problems. There were several sentences where I had absolutely no idea what you were trying to say, and I think there were a couple of misused words.

Another thing: Are they eleven? Because if so, then Harry's description of her at the beginning kind of seems unbelievable. I mean, what eleven year old has "curves" to which a dress can cling? The way you described her dress and how it fit just seemed a little bit mature for an eleven year old. Also, if you're trying to make her seem like the Hermione from the book, she is specifically described as "plain."

Also about her: I don't think she would have been so willing to kiss a boy she literally met five minutes ago. Hermione is a smart girl, very sensible, and kind of conservative. That's just very out of character. Maybe if Hermione had been an original character it would have been a little bit more believable.

That being said, apart from those things, the story itself seems like a good idea. I felt bad for Harry at the beginning, what with him feeling bad about having to live with the Dursley's and wishing he had died with his parents. It was very sad and envoked some feelings from me, which was good.

You mentioned that you were thinking about doing a sequel. I think that maybe you could do something about Harry and Hermione getting their Hogwarts letters, where they both find out about their magic? Maybe? I don't know. That's about all I can think of.

That's really I can say about this. :)


Author's Response: Thanks Chica

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