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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap; thanks so much for offering, by the way! I've heard a lot about Dramione Head Girl and Boy stories, but I've only read a few. So I though I'd expand my horizons with this one!

Since this is kind of an AU story, I like that you've made all the events feel very believable. I especially appreciated the part about Hermione turning down the Ministry job because she didn't feel deserving. She's got such a strong sense of justice that I can definitely see her wanting to wait until she's "earned" a place at the Ministry.

I also like the way you dealt with her relationship with Ron. I find it very plausible that he wouldn't be ready for a romantic commitment so soon after Fred's death. I like that you didn't hint at any problems or make Ron out to be the "bad guy." It wasn't melodramatic; you just told us how things happened and moved on. I think that's a great way to approach that situation :)

One thing I might suggest is to add more dialogue. I've gotten this feedback on first chapters before, and it makes a lot of sense to me. I really liked your narration and storytelling, but it might add some interest and variety to have some specific moments sprinkled in :) For example, what did Ron and Hermione say to each other when they broke up? Maybe you could show Harry and Ron teasing Hermione about being Head Girl, instead of telling us about it. Things like that :)

I really enjoyed this! Dramione done right is really starting to grow on me, and this looks like the start of one of those stories. Thanks again for the swap!

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you very much for this lovely and helpful review!

I think it's hard to write a story that is basically AU and try to keep characterisations and things just right so I appreciate the positive feedback on that :)

I could never make Ron a bad guy at all, he's just too loveable and I don't think he would ever hurt Hermione like that.

Your comment about more dialogue makes perfect sense, I'm just starting to edit this story as it was my first fic so needs a lot of work. I'll definitely take your advice on board :)

Thank you again for the lovely review and the swap!



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