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Review:marauder5 says:
Hi! This was a really, really good one-shot. I never thought I'd feel sorry for Peter (because I dislike him too much), but for a while there, I did. Obviously, he never wanted any of it, and you made it seem like he had no choice (which was probably what he was thinking). But I think Dumbledore, being a better man than Peter, taught us that there's always a choice: the choice between what is right and what is easy, and Peter chose the easy way. I think he could have survived if he had told Dumbledore or his friends after the first time when he was caught stealing, he could have gone into hiding as well... So yeah, I still dislike him, because he DID choose to betray James and Lily, but at least in this one-shot I can understand him a bit better.

As for the language, it was mostly beautifully written. I loved the part where you described the clouds in the sky, and my favourite paragraph was the one that begins with: "Gone were the days when four schoolboys..." It was so brilliant, and so touching. I do have a small suggestion when it comes to your language, though. Sometimes I thought you were a bit repetitive. At some point in the beginning, you wrote 'Peter' many times, and speaking of that favourite paragraph of mine - the last sentence goes:
"The days of sharing secrets were long past; now they had to keep secrets in silence." I don't think that you have to use the word secrets both times. It could be something like: "The days of sharing secrets were long past; now they had to keep them in silence." Using the same words too many time can disrupt the flow just a little bit.

Other than that, I really loved this one-shot! I think you can work on the ending a little bit, too, because it didn't feel like a real conclusion, if that makes sense. But it's fine the way it is too. You are definitely a talented writer, this was really touching and I really, really enjoyed reading it :)

Author's Response: Eee thank you! I'm so thrilled to see a review on this story, and one as nice as this!

I'm glad you felt sorry for Peter (one of my goals when I wrote it was to see if it was possible to feel sorry for such a repulsive character!) And you're right - while he never would have made the move to switch sides on his own, and he didn't have much of a choice, he did have one, and he chose Voldemort.

And thank you for the sweet compliments about my writing style :) I'll go back and fix some of the repetition you mentioned - I do have a tendency to do that.

As for the ending, I meant for it to end on a kind of unfinished note, actually. As it is, he has just given in to Voldemort, feeling guilty and is wondering if there's a way out of what he's done. You already know what happens next, but I didn't include it because I didn't think it would add anything new to Peter's soup of angsty feelings.

Thank you SO much for your review!! :)


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