|Review:||nott theodore says:|
I've been meaning to come and read something else of yours for so long and just haven't got round to it, so when I saw you posting in the tag thread I had to get in there quickly!
I should probably say that I hardly ever read song fics, because they often seem quite disjointed to me, but this one didn't at all. Another reason I don't tend to read them is because I rarely know the song, so this story also started out well as far as that's concerned!
I really enjoyed reading this. I think that your choice of song and the placement of the lyrics you included worked well with Sirius' character and the moment you've chosen to write about, and it flowed well when I read it.
Another thing I don't remember reading before is a story written from Sirius' POV, but I thought your characterisation of him here was brilliant. Nothing he thought or did seemed to be out of character from what we know of him he felt completely believable to read.
I could really feel the anger coming from Sirius - almost as though it was radiating off the screen while reading. The reasons behind it are understandable, and I like the way that there were stages to the storm that was building up inside him.
One thing that is so easy to do is forget how young Sirius and the rest of the Marauders were at the time they were fighting the war, but it's clear here that Sirius is about 19 (if I've done my maths right!) and that comes through in his voice. At the beginning there's almost a petulance to his anger and it highlights really well how young he actually is. His anger is tangible throughout the story, but particularly in the first few paragraphs, when he directs it at everyone else, even when he knows deep down how unreasonable and unjustified it is. I loved his thoughts of Remus speaking in his head, acting as a second conscience for him, encouraging him to do the right thing. The decision not to go back to the Potters was a good one, I think - James certainly would have got mad with him if he had taken his temper out on Lily! But it showed a more mature side to him which he probably had to have with the events he experienced at that age.
The way you described the bike it seemed almost an extension of Sirius, and I think it was a great inclusion in this story. Sirius seems to feel invincible on the bike, despite knowing he isn't, and I like the way that he uses it as an outlet for his anger.
The change in the direction of his anger from others to himself is a very realistic transition. The guilt loading his thoughts when he thought of what had happened to Regulus made me feel so sorry for him. There's so much that has happened to him that he has to deal with, and I can't even begin to imagine how responsible he must feel about his brother joining the Death Eaters. It always makes me sad to think that Sirius died not knowing that his brother had actually tried to stop Voldemort rising to further power.
The details you included about Sirius' family were well chosen and very effective in this story. Bellatrix seemed so accurate, and you could tell that Sirius knew her well enough to know what she was truly capable of. I liked the sense of competition between the two branches of the Black family, both sets of parents trying to outdo each other with their children's accomplishments. I can imagine it happening exactly as you describe - some of the pureblood parents strike me as those pushy 'soccer moms' you find all over.
Although I'm not impressed with the fact that Sirius ended up muggle-baiting, I found it really believable as a way for him to vent his anger, and the descriptions of the driver of the car made me annoyed with him as well - he's definitely the sort of person who would get on my nerves at first sight! Another aspect I enjoyed was the way that Sirius had obviously calmed down a little by the end, so that there was a visible progression.
I picked up on one typo:
"I storm away from the Number 12 Grimmauld Place" -- you don't need 'the' here
Overall, this was a very well-balanced and well thought out story and I really enjoyed reading it. The song choice is perfect for a story about Sirius, and the lyrics only add to the story; they flow so seamlessly in the story that I almost forget it's a song fic. Well done!
Author's Response: Hi, Sian! I was excited when I saw you tag me.
I'm not a fan of song fics, myself, but I thought this song was such a great match for Sirius and his motorcycle. And I'm really glad that I'm not the only person on HPFF who knows any Priest songs except maybe Breaking The Law. ;)
I'm glad you liked the way I write Sirius. I tried really hard to keep him consistent with the age he would have been. In a lot of Marauder stories, the characters wind up sounding like 30-year-olds as opposed to the late-teens/early-20's that they actually are. So Sirius being irrationally angry and hot-headed went well with his age, I thought. He should be petulant and unreasonable to an extent. Everyone is at that age. Poor Remus is just old beyond his years, which makes him a good "voice of reason" for the group.
The bike is definitely an extension of Sirius's personality and it does give him a feeling of invincibility. Motorcycles do that generally, I think, whether they're enchanted or not.
The Sirius Black I remember from the books was dealing with a lot of anger, and a good portion of that was directed at himself. At this point, he's not yet wearing the guilt from James and Lily's murder, but I think he would have felt some measure of responsibility for how Regulus turned out. After all, he could have tried to spend more time with his brother while they were in school together and steer him away from the bad influences. But he was most likely far too busy having fun. And by the time he realized where Regulus was heading, it was too late.
In a twisted sort of way, I enjoyed working in all the little details of the Black family. Talk about an awful family to grow up in! I'm sure there was a lot of not-so-friendly competition between the two branches of the family to see who could turn their kids into the most fanatical pure blood supremacist maniacs. Of course, it blew up in their faces with Andromeda, Sirius and ultimately Narcissa, as well. There's a lesson there, I think.
Ah the guy in the Jag. There really were no "good" people in that exchange, were there? I felt like Sirius needed some way to get his frustration out so that he could return to the Potters' house in a more reasonable frame of mind. Tweedy Jag guy wound up filling that role.
Thank you for pointing out the typo. That's all patched up now.
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed the story! Thanks for the awesome review!