Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Ah Amanda beat me to the first review, I guess I can console myself with having the first review on Breaking Even! I really loved this chapter it reminded me of the Chamber of Secrets a lot with them sneaking out under the cloak when theyíre meant to be shut up in the tower and the nod towards Myrtle completed it perfectly!

Ooh another thing I really loved in this chapter was your dialogue and how you gave each character a little accent or made them use slang as it added so much to the chapter overall. I loved the conversation between the Marauders at the beginning of this chapter because even though it was about a serious topic it still made me crack up!

When Peter talked about George maybe killing himself I had been thinking that too. Maybe this is just a giant ruse from George who wanted to leave in style and made the whole of Hogwarts terrified. Or perhaps he faked his own death is hiding out in the room of requirement and used complex magic to make a mannequin of his body which looked like his own and sent that letter to Lily because she annoyed him. Now heís pretending to be an evil dictator and stroking his white cat. That is definitely what has happened!

I really liked the news article in this chapter it added some level of authenticity to it, and now Iíve got a thick Yorkshire accent going round and round in my head and Iím tempted to speak in it. Maybe that disturbance is related to the possible murder of George. Gah! This is why me and AU donít always get along as it doesnít stick to the bounds of canon so I canít predict whatís going to happen.

I adored the scene with Lily and James. Lilyís reaction was perfect as I imagined her to be scared and worried considering she may be about to die. Then the way James swooped in and tried to protect was great. Ooh another theory! Maybe Lily just got really annoyed with all of Jamesí requests to ask her out and did all of this so he would see what a danger she was and left her alone. That one does seem quite likely.

Yay for the cameo from Violet and the Fat Lady Ė I loved that!

Iíve learned from the Beth Bridger trilogy to never take anything youíve written for face value and thatís why I believe that the scene with Rosier and Wilkes was just a Red Herring. It seemed too obvious and I doubt any of them could kill anyone. Iím going to go and develop my theories and find out whether George is actually dead or not and who started this thing in the first place!

Another amazing chapter, Rachel!


Author's Response: You're very good at having the first review on Breaking Even, Kiana! And no matter what review number you are, the fact you keep returning at all makes me incredibly happy. There was definitely an intentional Chamber of Secrets vibe here, too, and I think it's neat you made that comparison!

I don't know why, but a lot of my character speak different -- and I don't know if you remember, but Wilkes gets a spitty way of talking in the Sneth books, too, so I just decided to adopt it here as well. Who knows how he really talks? (P.S. Is that a Yorkshire accent, then, in the paper? I never know, never can pick out which accent belongs where. I'm only now getting the basics of recognizing the Scottish and Irish accents. Ah, to be British instead of American!)

I can't tell you for sure whether or not George really did commit suicide, of course, but it's definitely one of the possibilities people SHOULD consider. -wiggling of eyebrows- He could be lording it over the Room of Requirement right now, for sure! That's an awesome theory! :D

I think Lily's a lot stronger than a lot of Marauders era writers portray her, and even though I like the James aspect of James/Lily best, she's very distinct in my mind, and I'm glad once again that my vision of her seems to line up with your own personal one.

Nothing should EVER be taken at face value, and especially a story like this, where I'm trying to keep the truth from people as much as possible. ♥ I'm just about to post the third chapter now, and you'll get much more of an inkling of how things are set to wind up in that one!

Thank you for reviewing, as always!! You're seriously one of my best reviewers -- I truly can't tell you how much all of your comments and noticing of things makes my day. :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 209
Submit Report: