No, no, no... I'm supposed to be leaving a review here. Constructive criticism and stuff.
So. No. I can't constructively criticize this at all. I can babble incoherently about the wonderfulness and brilliance of this story.
At first, I was so confused about who Narcissa was talking to, and then I was like, "OH, IT'S TONKS DUH!!" I really enjoyed how I didn't know at first, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, WHOA! Amazingness. :)
Okay, this stream-of-consciousness thing is really, really, really great for this topic/character/piece. It just WORKS. I can see all of Narcissa's memories and her pain, and oh my gosh, it's beautiful the way you've written it.
I kind of wish that she would've revealed herself to Andromeda, to see what would happen, but alas, she didn't. So they'll just have to go on, being as far away from each other as a flower on earth and a constellation in the night sky.
Speaking of night skies, I love how you described the Black sisters in terms of the moments of their birth. It totally figures that Bellatrix would be the one born during an eclipse of the moon. Darker than dark, that's her! Narcissa and Andromeda fit perfectly, too. The sisters of the sky, except one isn't in the sky at all.
Okay, what was my point? Hmmm, it's that you're so awesomely brilliant that you've rendered me incoherent. I hope you don't mind random babbling...
Really, the figurative description is just so shimmery and sparkly. How do you do it?! I certainly hope that you read this at least once a week and think, "Well, darn, I'm totally awesome," because that's definitely what I'm thinking right now. :P
My favorite part of this was when Narcissa thought about the day when she healed Tonk's cut in the sandbox. The whole "fairy lady" thing was painted in such shivery-awesome words. I love it!!
The whole premise of this thing is just sad!Narcissa musing about dead!Tonks and all the mistakes that were made, and that's really sad. It was so beautiful, but just really, really sad. (Must stop saying "sad" and find a better adjective...) I thought that you used the Gatsby quote to its fullest advantage, but this story was about so much more than just incorporating a quote. You made it sing, Lulu, you really did.
Please let me review more of your writing, if you don't mind a whole lot of gushing! This was so fantastic. I just want to shake you by the hand for its brilliance. :)
Author's Response: Hello! :) Wow, I can't even handle the absolute loveliness of this review. It had me smiling throughout, thank you! :D
Gah, I'm so pleased you liked the story and the idea of Narcissa addressing Tonks. I'm glad it hit you and had a strong impact, I loved writing this story and feeling emotional while writing it! I'm so pleased the stream of consciousness style seemed to work and wasn't too confusing or anything, honestly it's my favourite form to write in, particularly for short, angsty one-shots! :D
I wish she had too, but I felt like Narcissa wasn't quite ready to bare her soul to Andy, it had just been too many years of hiding and fear. I think someday she might come forward, however, or at least I hope so!
I'm so pleased as well that you enjoyed the imagery and contrasts, I loved writing this and imagined it almost like a love poem. The idea of light and dark seemed so simple but fit the sisters so well in my mind, so I'm very happy you enjoyed it! I loved writing and imagining how the scene in the playground would have appeared and affected Narcissa as well.
I'm pleased (though sorry) if this made you feel sad! I really loved writing this, and your positive feedback is really wonderful to receive. This is really such an incredible, kind review, and I really appreciate it. Thank you! :)