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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here with the review you requested. :)

So, I like the premise for this story a lot. It seems like the twins are two very interesting characters, and I find myself wanting to know more about them. How do they speak to each other and to other people? What does their mother think of them (besides her need for them to look perfect, of course!)?

The backstory you've got is pretty solid. From this short chapter, we learn how the twins came to discover their powers and their talents of painting and writing. However, I found myself wishing for at least a little bit of dialogue in this chapter. I think that it would further help to bring the twins, the newscaster, and the fussy mother into better focus, like a camera lens can do. :)

There are a few things that, being a member of the Grammar Police, I must bring to your attention:

"I and my twin sister Freya where born with talents"~~This should be phrased as "my twin sister Freya and I were born with talents." Where and were and we're are quite easily confused. Just make sure that you've got the right one. :)

"all be it"~~This is supposed to be the word "albeit," I believe.

"sat in are shared bedroom"~~The word "are" should be "our."

You had a few more grammar mistakes, but it was never anything major. Just be sure to go back over this chapter for grammar slips sometime in the future. :)

This seems like it's going to be a really good story! I hope that the writing of it goes smoothly for you! :)


Author's Response: Thank you for the review and I am glad that you like it! To hear you think it has a solid backstory (since this is what the chapter basically is) really means a lot to me. I will also defiantly think about where I can add in a little more dialogue though I have to admit this is just more of how they got their powers and more about them will come in the next few chapters!

As for the grammar I have update the draft on my laptop already and I now have a beta reader to help me pick up on things as I know I will never be any good at it myself. Anyway I really appreciate the review and hope this story carries on strong!


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