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Review:patronus_charm says:
Tag! A minor note on that, it might be easier if you include a link to your author page in your signature as it makes it a lot easier to find your stories :) I adore Scorose though, so when I saw you had one on your author page, I couldn’t resist :P

I really liked your characterisation in this story. Alice had me laughing with her exhibits, and I really like it when canon children are in stories so kudos for you for that. Rose intrigued me too, as she was kind and compassionate about Brian and then determined about the Scorpius issue. I didn’t get that much about Pat, but I’m sure she’s equally as cool :P

You created a bit of intrigue in this chapter with whether they’ll be any developments on the Scorpius/Rose front and it made me want to know the history behind them. Then me wanting to know why Scorpius turned Al’s frown into a smile and the dynamic of that friendship.

You do need to work on your dialogue grammar a bit. Here ' “So Rose? I hear you’re interested”, Says Pat,’ is an example of two errors. You need to place the comma inside the speech marks and if it’s a comma you don’t capitalise the word outside of it so the ‘Says’ should have a lowercase s :) Then here ‘"Perfect." I mutter‘ the mutter is part of the dialogue so it should have a break not a period. I hope this isn’t too overwhelming for you!

Overall, I thought that was a good start you just need to watch your dialogue grammar. I hope that my explanation was clear to you there :) There are some good links on the forums if you need more help on it though.

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello Kiana :)
I've fixed that! There's a link in my sig now!

I adore Rose/Scorp too! Which is why I've written (Attempted to write?) three! :p Thank you for your lovely compliments :) I'll give more insights into all their characters as I write more of this :)

I've written more about their history in the next chapter and I will write more about the big Al/Scorp friendship :P

I have realized that the dialogur grammar has some issues. I've clarified my doubt and will most certainly edit this when I get the time!

Thanks for the review! You weren't confusing at all! In fact, I appreciated everything you had to say :)
Thanks again!


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