Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Hi Amanda!

First of all, you guys are missing out on not having baked beans! I’ve seen them in most European countries so I assumed that they would be in the US too. Oh well, that was a nice touch to include :)

Peter scared me a little in this chapter. I think it’s mainly due to me rarely seeing it from his perspective so I never get an insight into his mind so that was surprising for starters and then his thoughts was the thing which scared me the most. I think it was the way he openly recognised that he could manipulate people and that he could ‘sway’ them. It was a really great case of foreshadowing for when he becomes he a Death Eater.

I thought Sirius was wonderful in this chapter. Not wonderful in the way he was acting but more in his characterisation. You really showed how self-righteous he can be at times. He still wasn’t feeling that guilty about what he did with Snape and blamed Snape for possibly revealing Remus’ secret when it was his own fault and that was really well done.

Snape scared me in this chapter. He becoming a Death Eater is the biggest issue I’ve had with fan fiction because suddenly he’s a Death Eater but he still loves Lily and they never provided a connection between the two, whereas you did and it was really great. It showed his evil and slightly deranged side by him thinking that if he joined up it would win Lily back.

The bond between Regulus and Snape worked really well in that scene because it was odd to see Regulus as the wiser and more rational one when people don’t often give him that role. But then you developed the complexities of it even more and showed Snape’s warped logic but not allowing Regulus to join. They have a really odd dynamic which is great to read. I liked how you ended that scene with Regulus having this protective streak in him and it will be interesting to see how that develops.

I liked how you showed Lily’s reaction to Remus, it made sense that she would be more caring and compassionate as it fits well with her overall character. The fact that she was more shocked about the revelation that they were animaguses was fitting too. I was quite surprised that James asked her to Hogsmeade, but I suppose he said it in a way where it seemed more like they were going as friends as opposed to a date. It will be interesting to see how that pans out.

Another great chapter, Amanda :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Haha, well, let me clarify--we do have them for lunch and dinner, just not as a breakfast food. They're commonly served with burgers and barbecue and I actually really like them :)

I've worked really, really hard on Peter for this story and he actually makes a pretty strong showing in the last few chapters, so I'm pleased that he's going okay so far and you like seeing him a bit more developed, albeit somewhat creepier. I get tired of the weak!Peter stereotype and so I wanted to go in a slightly different direction with him here.

Yeah, Sirius kind of gets the short end of the stick from me in this story because most of what you see comes from Lily, Snape or Regulus. Again, please tell me if I'm being too cruel to him. I'd never want to do that.

Yeah, he's meant to be quite chilling in terms of how irrational he's being and yet how strongly he clings to those erroneous beliefs. He must be quite far gone to think that Lily would actually be impressed by dark magic. It's a perversion of their original meeting. As I've continued working on this story, he's become darker and darker and I sort of feel sad because I didn't capture many of his adult, older-and-wiser personality traits. Ah, well, plenty of future writing material there.

I still really love the Regulus-Severus friendship in this story. It was inspired by a tiny scene from another Snape story that I adored and so I've let it figure prominently. It's definitely part of my head canon. I think that they could have bonded quite a bit, especially after both of them joined Voldemort.

Yeah, Lily and James will start to grow a bit closer from this point forward. It's been challenging to write them together because I don't ship them, but hopefully it turns out okay. Juggling all of the moving parts has been so difficult in this story and I'm actually kind of scared that it will fall apart in the end. Hopefully not. Thankfully, I have loyal reviewers like you to give me that feedback :)

Thank you for this fantastic review!

-Amanda


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 899
Submit Report: