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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hey! Thank you so much for entering my challenge! I've really enjoyed reading this.

I'm such a big sucker for minor character stories. They are honestly my favourite because it opens up so much more to JKR's world, which i love, obviously. I have never read a Barty Crouch story and it's definitely an intriguing moment to capture. It's interesting to see this because it's a pivotal time in his life and asks a lot of moral type questions. Are we better then them if we stoop to their levels? That's just one of the things you address here and i can see how it would be something that someone would struggle with. It was interesting to see it from his perspective too because everything in the one-shot just screamed Barty. You nailed his characterization i think. The seriousness of him, the way he seems almost cold in how he makes his decisions and yet there is an underlying caring about him as well as he thinks of how much the world is hurting.

It makes me wonder though how this affected him later one. Does this start a spiral for him where he does change? Where he becomes even more focussed on destroying the DE's and everything they stand for? Will he dip and be at their level as the times goes on? I guess it just makes me want more to see the repercussions of this decision. You can't explore that with one-shot but i think it's great that this story has opened up those questions!

I liked that you gave a view of what the wizarding world and muggle world were becoming. The mysterious deaths, the climbers gone missing, close friends dying, family in danger. It gave a rounded idea that there was chaos outside his door and this moment of him trying to decide what was right or wrong was the perfect choice for you to explore some of that chaos.

This is a very straight forward kind of way of exploring how this choice was brought on and what the pressures where that pushed him to make it. His logic was clear and easy to understand so it was no surprise really when he signed it. It really showed Barty for who he was. A no one sense sort of guy who's just doing what needs to be done. I wonder if he'll regret the choice as we know that he had a rise and fall with the Ministry where people wanted him for Minister but in the end he was demoted.

The only CC i could give and i only say this from the perspective of what i set out for the challenge was that i would've liked to feel the horror more. It's hard seeing the character you're using but I wanted to get a deep, gripping sense of horror and darkness. I think that although you explained the chaos really well and gave a really neat look into the pressures that a Ministry official would face, a more tactile, organic approach where I felt along with him the chaos and fear that was around him might have made this seem more emotional. Perhaps a little more imagery and different uses of the senses would have brought this closer to home. Like what was he smelling, how did the parchment feel under his fingertips? Was the air hot or cold around him? These sorts of things give a broader and rounder impact to the story.

Otherwise you do have a great one-shot here and you have a really nice writing style! Thank you so much for entering my challenge and I hope you enjoyed writing this as much as i enjoyed reading you story! Really lovely work! :)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such a long and detailed review!

I completely agree with you about minor characters - they are my favourite to write because they give you so much freedom to explore in your writing. I'm really pleased that you could sense the internal conflict that he experienced in this moment and that you thought I got his characterisation right. I wanted to show him for the sort of character that he's portrayed as in the books, but at the same time I wanted to show a different side to him, one that wasn't necessarily seen by the general public.

I'm happy that it made you think and ask questions, even if I couldn't answer them with a one-shot!

After writing this I realised that there probably wasn't as much horror as you would have liked for this challenge - I found it quite hard to write with a character like Barty, since he's so down to earth and methodical in his thinking. I'll definitely look back at this and consider your suggestions, because I've found them really helpful!

I did really enjoy writing it, and thank you for setting this challenge - I'm happy you enjoyed reading it as well! Thank you for the lovely review!

Sian :)


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