I have a feeling this is going to be another massive review, so be prepared!
I really loved the beginning part. The narrator of it was really strange. It was as if it was someone observing from above, maybe it was a magical god or something like that but either way I really liked it. It added a touch of a mystery and the narrator seemed to know the end to the story. I have a feeling Verityís going to die. I think itís mainly due to George marrying Angelina so sheís got to disappear in one way or another.
I felt so bad for Verity when she was getting interrogated. I thought you showed her confusion really well, and I felt really proud of her because I donít think I could be that kept together if my best friend just died. I always imagined Dawlish to be really evil so I adored your characterisation of him. He seemed exactly like a surly Auror should be. Aw imagine if Tonks interviewed her, that would have been awesome!
The way youíve shown that grief is still haunting Verity was really good. Sheís not yelling out my best friend just died this is a cry for help but youíre showing and itís a great case of show vs. tell. One thing which I felt really pulled it off was her night time wandering around Sebastianís flat. She seemed to have lost her grip of reality almost and the way she hadnít been outside show how much sheís suffering.
Her dad is the Burke of Borgin and Burkeís? My mind is officially blown. I never put the pieces together and I just assumed it to be a normal surname. Ah but Verityís so sweet and thatís her father, I canít deal with it! I suppose her mother has something to do with it though. Wait a second; it all makes sense now like how her father is a collector so she is. My mind is blown again.
This is so weird dealing with someone who liked Borgin and Burkes and how they could be nice to Borgin. I canít deal with it in a good way mind. It shows that your story is really original having never come across it before and the way you piece together bits of canon is truly outstanding. Then the way you made Burke dead, I always wondered why he never appeared in the shop so I liked that backstory.
One teeny tiny thing, in the second flashback it took place twenty-six years ago, and correct me if Iím wrong, it seemed as if from the way it was written that Verity was born twenty-five years ago and that would make her a little too old. This may just be my bad maths skills showing but I thought I should point it out :)
Ooh I forgot to say! I adored the backstory between Verityís mother and father it was so cute and adorable and I was sitting there awing away happily. I think itís the way Caractus was all smug and like yeah I proved you wrong when he announced he got married to Borgin as that made me crack up a lot.
AH ITíS GEORGE! At first I thought it was Malfoy then I thought it must be Ron because of the freckles but I was happily proved to be wrong. Eek Iíve been longing for this moment and I loved it ♥ there whole conversation was so cute but this line made it ĎďIíd like to hear it someday,Ē I say boldly.í I was cheering her on and I can see that George is going to be the one to pull her out of her grief for Penelope.
AHAHAHA! CLIFF-HANGER! How could you do that to us? Iím dreading who it could be. Perhaps itís Sebastian and thatís how she ends up with George? Ooh I love theories so Iím going to go and make up some more :D Another amazing chapter, dear!
Author's Response: Hello! You are so wonderful for this really long and thoughtful review, I'm so happy that you're following up with the story and still enjoying it! This really made my day! :D
I'm glad you liked the foreboding voice at the beginning, and the suspense and mystery it brought to the chapter! That's a very interesting prediction, I love hearing these speculations about the future of the story! :)
I know, I felt sorry for putting Verity through that. She was very confused, and I think it helps her to put on her shop persona when confronting these things, because her personal self is still grieving. Aw, I wish it had been Tonks now! But yes, Dawlish is quite rude and also fairly useless as we'll continue to discover... he does work for Fudge, after all.
Poor Verity, I'm pleased you thought her grief was being shown well. She gets reminded about losing Penelope and these waves of grief and desperation that come and go.
Haha, well I'm glad your mind is blown! :) It's funny, she was originally going to work elsewhere in Diagon Alley but I gave her that surname and was like... wait a minute... and the whole story kind of took shape! I want to show how Borgin and Burke weren't bad guys per say, they're just in a rotten business and have to act accordingly. Borgin is quite sweet to Verity for the most part, he's just a normal family man... but who sells shrunken heads and deals to Death Eaters...
I think I'll clear up the flashbacks, basically Verity was just re-telling her parents' story before she was born. I imagined them being married for a few years before having her (to give them some time together before Burke died!) so I'll clear that up! :)
And I'm so glad you liked that backstory as well! :) I thought they were quite funny as well, and would make a really functional couple for unexpected reasons.
I'm so glad that you liked George! He was really fun to write, especially the cute little conversation. I was so proud of Verity too, and yes, George is certainly a very positive influence. :) I love being able to capture the twins at this really crucial time in their lives, when they've just left Hogwarts and are opening up the shop.
Haha, well the next chapter will hopefully be up very shortly! :D I love writing this story and getting this positive response means so much to me. Thank you so much for your INCREDIBLE review darling! :)