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Review:Navera says:
I am loving this! And just so you know I will be very unhappy if this does not have a good ending!

Some things that would make it easier to read:
Some commas! They add pauses to a sentence so it will flow better
Correct pronouns (he, she, his, her) I noticed that sometimes you accidently mix them up
And finally: spelling. While I can still tell what you are trying to say, spelling something correctly helps get your point accross in the right context.

Over all you are doing really well, but I think fixing these little grammatical errors will take your writing to the next level! Keep going! I really am loving your stories!

Author's Response: Sorry I can't tell about the ending you will just have to wait and find out. :)
As for making my writing better,
I know that commas are used for pauses and I actually use them quite often, my writing instructor tells me to not over comma because then it makes too choppy and seem to lengthy. In this story I use a good bit of commas, so nine time out of ten if I didn't use a comma it's because I don't want to enhance a pause. Don't get me wrong I am sure that I missed a few places and I think I might have a feeling about where you think I need them.
About the pronouns I will go look at those and see if I can't find them, I do go back and edit but seeing as how im the one who is writing it my mind knows what it's supposed to say so I might be over looking it.
As for spelling the problem is that im not exactly misspelling words im spelling words correctly it's just not the word that I meant to use, so spell check doesn't pick it up. What I can suggest for that is to actually tell me what words need fixing and I will go back and fix them. I am the worlds worst speller always have been and when I go back and read over it I think I am saying the correct thing when im not. If that makes sense.
Anyways thank you for the review.

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