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Review:marauderfan says:
Hello! More reviews yay!
So this chapter. I really liked the way you portrayed the feelings of loneliness - Bellatrix watching from the other side of the fence, walking silently down the corridor in the house, her parents being overprotective and stifling, etc. That was really well done. I also liked how the tapestry room is such a big deal and that Bella as a little kid is not allowed in there - it makes sense for a family so proud of their lineage that they wouldn't want anything to happen to the tapestry haha.

I have some CC, if that's okay - one thing you might want to work on is the characterisation. Bella doesn't seem quite real to me; at times she seems innocent and caught up in what her parents tell her, but twice you mentioned her smile being sadistic or malicious, and it's kind of conflicting with the innocent, lonely girl you portray her as in other parts of the chapter. She rather cruelly thinks Andromeda deserved punishment, but then Bella hangs around watching the Muggles innocently. It was just a rather odd flip-flop in her personality. (Unless you intended it to be that way because Bella is young and doesn't know who she is yet, in which case ignore me!)

[Also, off topic: I saw on your author page that you wanted a banner for your other fic. I can make banners (though i'm not on tda) so let me know if you want me to make one - and if so, what you want on it, haha]

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for being such a consistent, good reviewer! I appreciate it a lot.
Anyway, yes, I see what you mean about my characterisation. See, I'm a young, newbish author- we'll say I'm too young to be reading my own, as it's rated M- and I'm still working on stuff like that. Reading over it, I definitely understand that that's something I need to work on. I suppose I /sort of/ intended her personality to be uneven, but not to the extent that it ended up being.
On the topic of banners, I re-read over the rules and realized that my fic idea for the story being in letter form is not allowed. So, I /really/ appreciate your offer, but I've gotten rid of the story.

Thanks again,
MagykNargle


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