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Review:patronus_charm says:
With exams finally out the way and momentarily giving up on graphic making, Iím finally back!

Ok I have to admit, Iím not entirely sure what to make of this chapter. Iím not really sure why, because I really did like it, but there was this uncertainty about this chapter. I think itís the fact youíve taken the biggest flaws, in my opinion, of Romeo and Juliet being how quickly they fall in love and it canít be realistic into this chapter. Iím not really sure why that made me confused as I know the play well, so I should have expected it, but gah itís left me confused, perhaps if I read on it will solve this confusion!

Thereís almost a sense of cynicism in this story and mocking too. I think it was this line ĎSometimes pathetic fallacy is just that: a lie.í And then the mocking of almost how quickly people portray people to fall in love and its common occurrence in Scorose. Maybe thatís what is contributing to my confusion. I mean, I really love it because itís almost satire of fan fiction in a way which Iíve never seen done before, but I think the fact Iíve never really seen it done in such a clever and subtle way is what confused me, so itís good confusion!

Actually, now Iíve picked up on the satirical element of this story I canít stop noticing it. There was a brief comment about the divisions of the houses and the stereotypes which supposedly make them incompatible and that made me laugh. I never got that idea in fan fiction so seeing it here was really great.

I was wondering when Paris would feature and I think him being in the form of a cat delighted me a little too much :P

Ah the famous balcony scene taking place at the infamous astronomy tower Ė how fitting! I think out of the entire chapterís descriptions it was best at there. I try and not talk about your descriptions too much because that could take up the whole of the review, but seeing it here was really great. I think it was this line Ďbut let them swallow her in a flaming beacon that he, soaring past, could not possibly ignore her presenceí which is what I really loved.

Their kiss was romantic in a way due to the impromptuness of it, but then at the same time demanding due to Rose forcing Scorpius back to kiss her. Your characterisation is very different to how I usually see her depicted, and I really like it. She has obvious flaws being demanding due to what I just said and then other oneís Iím yet to pinpoint more precisely, and it makes a change from her flaws being loud and moody because they really are overdone.

I didnít anticipate for Scorpius to have such dark intentions. At first when he was trying to defend dating a Weasley and said ĎA thought pulled one corner of Malfoyís mouth into a smile. ďPerhaps thatís why I prefer her.ĒĎ I thought it was merely due to him being around his friends and then there was that sinister chat with Montague about him not failing which is making me wonder about what he could fail. Aha, I just realised that you probably purposefully used Montague for that role, that was a very happy convenience from JK Rowling for naming one of her characters that!

I really enjoyed this chapter despite the initial confusion, but now I think Iíve found the source of it, itís a lot better due to me being able to understand that element of the story!

-Kiana

Author's Response: My apologies for taking so long to respond to your reviews for this story. It's actually a difficult story to talk about, not because it's disturbing, but because I think I could have written it much, much better. I'm not quite sure what I was doing, especially when writing this middle chapter. The source material is murky when it comes to the actual falling in love bit because it happens so suddenly - it's hardly even love at all, just an adolescent attraction that proves fatal for... well... everyone. There's no way of writing it realistically, except to show how completely ridiculous it is.

What's likely causing your confusion is the style, which is overdone in this chapter. I was trying to make up for the lack of plot movement by couching all the narration in florid purple prose. :P This second act painfully mocks itself and its content, which marks a significant change from the seriousness of the first and third acts - it's trying to get Scorpius and Rose to fall in love in that pretty romantic way that totally eluded me. If anything, this chapter more accurately describes my inability to understand how this kind of relationship can be seen as romantic - hence the confusion. *hides*

I am glad to hear that you liked the balcony scene! That was a nicer scene to write - it's definitely the centrepiece of this chapter, and it's amazing how easy it was to write that scene in a Potterverse context. It's like broomsticks were made for this purpose. XD

Rose's characterization was the largest risk of this story because it's very rare to find her in a darker role (GubraithianFire has one), but it was important to reveal her personality bit by bit. She twists the Juliet role on its head - perhaps its even worthwhile questioning who is meant to be Juliet and who Romeo? ;)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I look forward to your opinions on the next two chapters! :D


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