Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi lovely! It's been way too long since I played at your AP!

This was such a sweet story. Fleur and Bill are one of my soft spots. I loved the way you showed little snapshots of their lives all the way through!

The start of it, with Fleur nervous about the interview but wanting to stay and prove she could be something for herself, not just for her looks, was perfect. That exemplifies a lot of my feelings for Fleur and just made me really happy.

I think the note about seeing a small fleck of disappointment in her mother's eye helped round her out as well. I think showing that even the princess could let her parents down ever now and then is really an important thing.

Then her horror at how it had gone when speaking with Bill - awesome! I'm sure she did great, but she's Fleur and a drama queen and that catered to her personality perfectly!

I honestly started getting worried that she was stood up by Bill, and I really loved the waiters feelings about her. Can you blame him for being disappointed when he saw her date had arrived? Ha! Poor guy!

The post wedding craziness, then the sweet moment she told him she was pregnant and moving into motherhood were all so sweet. I think you kept her the same women while adding in the changes that her life gave her, bringing her a bit more down to earth and allowing her to become less of a self involved person, all created a lovely picture of her. It makes me so happy when an author can do Fleur justice, because I think it happens so infrequently.

Mind if I offer a bit of CC?

Because it's on a computer screen, the spacing killed my eyes. Just spaces between each line would make it a LOT easier to keep my place :)!

Also, I mentioned loving the snapshots of her life, and I really do. But the amount you have made it feel like you were rushing to get to the next. You did such an awesome job with her that I wanted to get more of each, and I really feel like you could have expanded on all the sections and just slowed down a bit to let the picture form. Have you ever thought about turning this into a short story collection and using each of these snap shots for a chapter? That would really let you give each scene the time it deserves!

Am I trying ot talk you into writing more of this? Yes, yes I probably am. Mwhaha.

You had a handful of typos that I'm sure a quick read through could fix. Or you could ask for a quick beta!

This was such an enjoyable story, my dear. Thanks so much for writing it ♥

Author's Response: Another review?! Jami, you are so lovely! I seriously need to review some more BTF chapters!

Awhh, you are so sweet! Thank you, I do love Fleur and Bill too, and I get a tiny bit miffed when people say that they aren't a very good couple together. Seriously, I think they are the best! Hahah, I did try to get all the most important aspects of a couples' life generilised...I did try to make her as believable as possible, and I was a bit worried I over did the whole drama queen act :P

Yeah! I can understand that, I will definitely go back and structure it a bit more neatly! I'll also try to extend the scenes -- though I'm not making promises about the story collection, hahah!

Thank you again, Jami, and if it wasn't for this computer screen I'd be hugging you so hard right now and giving you lots of cake! Thanks so much for stopping by!

Sophie :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 371
Submit Report: