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Review:patronus_charm says:
Iím so sorry it took me a while to get round to reading and reviewing this for the challenge! My exams are finally over and this was at the top of my list to review :D

I was really intrigued when you asked whether you could write about Rita as a child, because Iíve never thought about her in that period and I was very pleased with the results. I think it was this line Ďso that the curls bounced with angelic innocenceí which made me crack up straight away. The use of subtle irony was really great, and it makes me wonder whether she was ever innocent or not.

Even though parodies often neglect backstory for humour instead, I liked the insight into her life with the line about her mother. Itís interesting to see that she may have been the cause of all this trouble which Rita caused later on and I liked the way it inspired her to do evil things! This line was great too Ďalthough her mum for some reason frowned whenever Rita tried to ask her more about those scandalousí as it showed that she did always have a bit of an evil streak!

I never thought of Sybil and Rita being in the same year and sort of friends but I really enjoyed her cameo appearance in this. It made it more relatable to the reader, because even though we know about Eloise some may not connect Rita was listening in on her mother so it was nice to see a character we all know really well. I always like seeing what canon characters were like as children so that made it enjoyable for me.

The part about no one caring about Dalton being single was brilliant. It showed that even though she liked mindless gossip not everyone else did and I suppose thatís what might have led to her become the devious woman we all know and perhaps all love! I dread to think what sort of plan Rita could concoct up and I thought your characterisation of her was really great!

I really enjoyed this entry and the results of the challenge will be posted after the closing date :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Oh jeeze! Don't worry about taking too long to redo this. God know I hardly am brilliant at getting all of my reviews done on time - it's just brilliant that you review at all!

And that is exactly why I wanted to write about Rita at this age - I don't think I have ever seen a story about her as a teenager. But there HAD to have been some wicked stories from those times, right? I mean...we get the Marauders as 'kids' and the trio of course...and the second generation. But there's very few stories written about the other adults and THEIR ventures through Hogwarts. And Rita has to be one of my favorite secondary people - spying witch and all. She is just nasty enough that it's fun to write but not a total bugger like Umbridge or Voldemort.

Rita's kinda being based on my cousin at the moment. So no, no she is not innocent in any stretch of the imagination.

Yeah, it's been interesting trying to figure out exactly how much backstory I am going to include. I have ideas in my head about what the relationship is with her mum and dad and her, but at the same time I'm not sure if they'll all make it in for the sense of the story. I tend to write things out of order, which means I have like six chapters done, but they all come after chapter three, which is where I'm having the problems getting started. So I'm not sure where and how much more of that backstory is going to make it in though. I want to make it happen though - as I think that's an interesting dynamic there. In my head, Rita gets much of her journalistic aspirations from a mother who isn't even at home half the time, which might be why her morals and tactics aren't exactly on the up and up.

Sybil's another one of the character's I love - and I honestly don't see many stories about her, either, which is why I included her. And honestly, once it popped into my head I don't think I'll ever be able to see them not as friends now. I mean, think about it - they are both ridiculously characiturized women, who are just insane with some of the things they do and say. You can even make an argument that both of them, to a degree, are total clothes horses. Also, I love the idea of young Trelawney, or Trelawney at all, being someone's voice of reason...


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