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Review:MargaretLane says:
Really like the beginning of this story. You write description well. I don't, not physical description, I mean.

And the Great Depression. An interesting era to write about. It doesn't tend to be as big an issue in Irish history, not because the 30s weren't an era of great economic hardship here. They certainly were. But the 20s weren't much better. Or the 40s. And the 50s might have even been worse. *laughs* It's probably easier list the eras Ireland ISN'T in recession. The 60s and from the late 90s until mid-2008. That's about it, really.

I like your use of words like "parlour" which kind of give a sense of the era.

I also like the use of American terms like "grade". Some writers have all magical schools use Hogwarts' terms, but since that seems to be based on British Muggle schools, I'd imagine schools in other countries would be based on their systems.

And ONLY a few hundred students!? *cracks up* Here the average size of a secondary would be 300-400 students. 600 is considered large.

*laughs at witchcraft being considered great evil*

Towards the end of the chapter you've written that Salem was in America and she was to live in Boston. I imagine that should be Britain.

I'm kind of sorry this is only a one-shot. I'd like to see what happens when she moves to Britain. They were fairly badly hit by the depression too and then there was World War II and the Blitz. I'm not sure exactly when we are at the end, but if she was 8 at the time of the crash and she's now 14, it's probably around 1935, so war is only about 4 years away. Just realised I'm not entirely sure when things began to improve in Britain. Other countries tend to get out of recessions a good deal more quickly than we do.

I'd also like to see what she makes of Hogwarts and how it compares with Salem

Author's Response: Thanks for the comment on description. I used to never be able to describe things well, since I have a terrible vocabulary, but I am getting better. There are some authors though, like J.R.R. Tolkien, who gives 5 page descriptions of things and it makes me want to bash my head out.

The Great Depression is interesting, so I was glad I got that Era. I just enjoy history as a hobby, and I also like historical fiction, so I pulled most of the knowledge from that. I'm glad I knew enough, even though I know more about the 1800s.

I thought it would make more sense to use terms like "grades" instead of "years". Being on the American side of the pond, I didn't even know there was a different term until I read Harry Potter (I really lack in foreign knowledge).

I know a few hundred seems like a lot, but Hogwars does have 1000 students. Also, Salem serves a much larger area than most schools.

*Smacks self in head*. Mistakes like that are so much harder to catch than things like spelling errors.

I know nothing about British history. I don't even know major wars.I know they had a depression as well, of course, but I have no idea how bad it was. That's why I decided to have this set in America.

Sorry, it's only a one-shot, but that's all I was willing to write! She'll adjust eventually though.


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