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Review:MadiMalfoy says:
Hello again! :)

Ahhh Regulus! I've read hardly anything about him, but I do think he's a vital character because of the whole locket thing in HBP. But anyway, about your writing of him! I think the story flow is decent enough for the time in his life you have it set at. I think if you slow down some and describe/explain some of his actions that would help with the flow a little bit. Just a few grammar and spelling errors that I noticed, but a quick proofreading will clean those up. :)

Description-wise, you have a wide variety. Which is good, because that means you're using different words to describe similar things and proper terminology as well. As for dialogue, the little you have is great! Severus doesn't speak much anyway and when he does it is short and to the point. Very close to canon! Voldemort's dialogue is good as well, but I think if you used the word "schoolwork" rather than "homework" that would sound more in-character because it's a British term rather than American term.

Other than the few things I mentioned above, a great chapter for Regulus! I'm excited to see more of them all, so feel free to re-request for incoming chapters! :) xx
~MadiMalfoy

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added notes to slow down the story flow a little bit more and to describe his actions a little more. And I will fix those pesky grammar and spelling errors. :)

I will also change the "homework" to "schoolwork". Thank you for pointing it out for me.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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