Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
I'm here again for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle. You never disappoint me with your writing, so I knew that I should seize the opportunity to review you again. :)

So, I've been watching Season 2 of Downton Abbey lately, where William and Matthew get injured and wind up back in the Downton Hospital, and reading this story was sort of like seeing the scene from their point of view, which was really cool! Well, the mentions of magic had nothing to do with it, of course, but the style, description, and Cedric's returning memories definitely took me back to those times. (Not that I was ever in those times to begin with, naturally!)

I love the way that you set the scene with the swishing noise that brought so many memories to Cedric's mind. It created such a peaceful atmosphere, which was a perfect backdrop for his thoughts of home, family, and friends to play out on. The shattering of that atmosphere--when he remembered what had happened on the warfront--contrasted very starkly and very brilliantly!

The "show-don't-tell" technique is really displayed to its best advantage in this chapter. Instead of saying things like, "Cedric is in the hospital. He signed up for the draft at Hogwarts," you instead put Cedric's memories into his own head and let him think them by himself. That's something that I don't see a lot, and you just write it so effortlessly! It's really, really brilliant. :)

...I think I'll probably come back to this story and read some more later on today. I'm very intrigued by the unique setting and, of course, your fabulous powers of description!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello again :)

It's great to hear that you liked getting to see things from Cedric's limited perspective here. I thought it was a much more intriguing and imagery-friendly way to set the scene than "This is Cedric. He's in the hospital." I loved pushing the limits of his perception and imagining what it would be like to be in his situation, exploring the murky memories of his life at home and Hogwarts and what has happened to him since he joined the army.

The contrast between the wartime memories and the memories of home and school were meant to show Cedric's changing mood as his realization of the present became ever clearer. I'm pleased to hear it was effectively jarring and kept you interested in the chapter.

Thank you for your fabulous review, and I do hope to hear your thoughts on chapter two!

-Amanda


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 796
Submit Report: