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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Another great chapter! I'm sorry to have not stopped by sooner, but it is a treat to come back to this very well-written story and get lost in its world. It's impressive how much you're able to include within each chapter - there's sufficient plot and character development intermingled with fascinating historical and medical tidbits. The descriptions are vivid and you also give your starring characters fantastic depth - I get a strong idea of their thoughts and feelings and motivations. All of these things enhance the quality of this story, and this chapter is a perfect example of why this story is so good.

Okay, fangirling aside, I was really interested in the details of this chapter, the little things such as the objects Cho discovers in the cupboard, the way that Cedric elevates Quidditch over all other types of physical activity (even though sitting on a broomstick can't be much of an exercise, unless you're a beater), and his reference to Finnegan and Thomas. Such detail fills out the world around the two characters and the little hospital, showing how many stories are ripe for the telling in this alternate universe. That's the most important part of world-building, being able to create that feeling of wholeness, of this story being only part of a larger world. You achieve this in a way that feels effortless, and it's amazing.

Cho's taken a risk in this chapter, and I like her ingenuity in using Cedric's own desire for his wand in her favour. Although it's obvious she likes Cedric and finds him attractive, her interest is more in the desire to heal and prove that the cure is a success so that it can be put to wider use as soon as possible. It's actually interesting to think about how Cho is really using Cedric as a guinea pig - this interest was only heightened by the way your narration focuses on Cedric's point of view in that segment of the chapter. Readers don't have access to Cho's mind in that moment, so, like Cedric, we're forced to trust her and hope for the best. You end the chapter on a light note, but there's still that uncertainty hanging in the background. Maybe I'm being morbid in having first misread Cedric's final thought as "he wondered if tomorrow he would wake up" without the last bit of sentence. One can't forget that the medicine is still experimental - what side effects will it have? What will it do to Cedric? What if it only works on magical people? Ah, too many questions (I'll just have to read on, I guess :P).

Excellent work with this chapter and with the story as a whole! I look forward to reading the rest as soon as I can! :D

Author's Response: Hey, I'm happy to hear from you again on this story! Your comments are really flattering; I had perceived this story and The Middle Man to both be somewhat simplistic compared to other things I've written, so I'm happy that it still has lots of layers of plot and characterization to entertain you :)

You know I love my details! I agree that it seems like you could pick a character or two and carve many different stories out of this world. It was so fun for me to try to add in references and build new opportunities for magic. I think that's part of why I love AU (despite my tendency to write canon stories).

Risk is definitely a big element here. When I wrote this, I thought of all the other patients and volunteers who underwent truly dangerous and deadly procedures in this time, sometimes quite unknowingly, because the potential results were too much to pass up. Both Cho and Cedric seem to be of that mindset here--as you pointed out, Cho is looking into the future and the opportunity to end the suffering she sees all around her, and Cedric seems to be focused more on the immediate reward of getting to leave his bed and perhaps getting his precious wand back. Either way, it's clear that a frightening amount of medical territory was unknown at this time.

Thank you for your fantastic review!


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