Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:peppersweet says:
I switched playlists to listen to during my reading of this fic because I guessed from the banner and summary that it is A Very Different Beast to The Fluttery Whimsy and...I think I may be right. Odd question, but are you working on both stories at once, and thus, do you ever get mood/narrator whiplash from swapping between them? I get asked this about my stories sometimes, and my answer would be no, because I like to take a break from things now and again, but I wondered what you might say. And I feel like I have to make my reviews have some sort of point beyond rambling and shipping.

I can empathise with Rose! On the grades and so forth~

One thing that's kind of stood out for me in the first bit of this paragraph is the reference to the joint as a 'tube' or the 'tube-y' thing - not sure I can bring this up in a review because reviews are meant to be 12+, but I'll risk it - somehow I've got the impression already that Rose is smart, and even if she isn't streetwise and has never tried drugs before, I feel like she'd know to refer to it by a proper name, even if she just called it a cigarette. Also, this dialogue - 'Well, I didn't know it was this easy' was all she could think to say - I can't actually fault what she says in itself, it's just that you're missing a comma before the closing speech mark. Did I mention I liked to nitpick?

I actually like this characterisation of stoner!Scorpius rather than playboy!Scorpius. Everyone loves a bad guy, I'll concede, but I get very tired of the playboy!Scorpius Slytherin Sex Gods because, well, some of the relationships in those fics tread the abusive line and I really don't approve. But, anyway, this isn't the time to rant; I just wanted to say that I've never seen this angle on Scorpius before and I like it! And I like that Rose is the one that goes in for the kiss - even if she's Not Entirely Lucid, it's refreshing to see the girl taking the first actual move instead of the guy just barging in there. Not that I don't write that myself all the time or anything...

I also like the duality in Rose's character, how she veers between wanting to be a rebel and wanting to be a model student all at once. I go through a near-constant cycle of 'oh I want to be a good artist and drink green tea and eat salads and wear nice clothes and cycle everywhere and wake up early to watch the sun come up' and 'yolo!! drink all the beer die young #noregrets' okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but I think you understand what I mean. I think it's just everyday angst.

Nice chapter! Like I said, it is A Very Different Beast from The Fluttery Whimsy, but I've enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing more from your next-gen kids! ♥

Author's Response: It is indeed A Very Different Beast, but I am glad you still like it! When you said in the other review you were going to read it I was getting really nervy 'cause it's so different and all that.

As for the mood/narrator whiplash, I think I do sort of... But it's not so much from flipping between fics as it is just writing this fic itself. It has a tone I'm not really used to, so I'm constantly editing it. There are a couple times I go through and think 'That sounds way too Fluttery Whimsy!' but more often I'm just going 'Rose would use bigger words and better phrasing, come on Chloe, THINK!' So I suppose to a degree, yes.

Ah, yes, the tube-y thing. I didn't actually mean like a thin cigarette-ish thing, it's something that looks more like a test tube or something. I don't know what it's called, I just saw it in a film once :3 But now that you mention all this, they should probably not be starting out with that. I've been thinking about editing that, but I wasn't really sure, and now I am so thank you! I appreciate that you mentioned it because obviously I am Not an Expert on this particular topic.

Ack, that comma. I debated that comma so much. I couldn't decide if it needed one because it was a he said, or she said sort of thing. And I've seen it before where people left it out and it seemed okay but I wasn't really sure and I don't know the rules on all that, but I think I will add it. Eek, commas. You will be the death of me.

I agree with you completely about playboy!Scorpius. I wanted to make my Scorpius have a similar sort of attitude, because I felt like he'd be a pretty confident bloke, but I didn't want him to be all... eck. I didn't even get to a chapter of the first draft before I realised that was not the Scorpius I wanted, and I went and fixed him. I like him better now, and his characterisation really gets a kickstart in the next chapter, so I'm pretty excited.

Of course I had to make Rose kiss Scorpius because... well, she's Rose! I felt like it would be betraying her character to let him kiss her, because she wants to be all in control of everything. If she snogs him it's okay, but if he snogs her? He's a creep. Rose has some rather convoluted reasoning :P

I do understand what you mean, absolutely. And I think loads of people have that duality at least to an extent. Or at least a conflict of their own interests. There's that idealised version of themselves that they want to be and what makes them happy, but then there also the 'Forget it, I'll just do whatever I want' that is especially common at this age. So it's fun to play with.

YES, I am fist-pumping. So happy you liked it and so happy for another great review! I love seeing them, it's like the first flowers of spring or maybe something less twee but I'm in a twee sort of mood, so flowers it is!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 661
Submit Report: